The Excellent Wife + LINKUP

 

Welcome to Mondays @ Soul Survival. Each week I feature a book that I consider a valuable resource. This week’s selection is one that has helped many women get a more biblically balanced view of our role, our responsibilities, and our blessings.

 

The Excellent Wife: A Biblical Perspective by Martha Peace.

 

The Excellent WifeThere are many books available today on marriage and on how to be the husband or wife that God has called you to be. I’ve read a number of them and, perhaps, so have you.

But Martha’s book is different from many of them. First of all, it’s not new. In fact, in my opinion, it’s a classic when it comes to biblical books on the wife’s role in marriage. It was first published in 1995. Martha wrote it because, as a biblical counselor seeking to help other women, she needed solid material to use in her counseling and, at that time, there was little available.

In the years since, it has been used by countless women and countless counselors, including myself. I have read and re-read it. I’ve taught it in the classroom and I’ve used it over and over in my counseling ministry. I’ve shared it with young women and with seasoned veterans to marriage. I’ve found it to be the most comprehensive, biblical book there is. My copy is highlighted, dog-eared, and full of notes on every blank space.

Just Another Book about Submission?

 

Someone out there is thinking … “Oh no, another book about submission!”

Submission is in there, because it’s part of how God has called us to live, but so is how to make a biblical appeal and how to lovingly confront your husband when he’s sinning, along with when to go to your church, and when to call the authorities because of abuse.

But the bulk of the book is about how to live out biblical womanhood on a practical, day by day basis, bringing glory to God in the process.

In the first section, Martha covers God’s protective authority, His provision for wives, His pattern for relationships, His purpose for marriage, and the wife’s role.

In the second section, she covers the heart and how it can be focused on false gods instead of Christ, also, the home, the God-kind of love, respect, intimacy and submission.

In the third section, she explains how submission is the basis for God’s protection and lists His resources for a woman’s protection. She, also, talks about the key to our motivation, the control of the tongue, and the importance of a quiet and gentle spirit.

And in the last section, Martha talks about some of our struggles: impatience, anxiety, and a lack of oneness. Continue reading

UPCOMING EVENTS

While I believe that divorce should always be a last resort, sometimes divorce happens. When it does, it can be one of the loneliest and most painful journeys there is. If you're not familiar with DivorceCare, it's a small group study where caring people walk alongside you through one of life’s most difficult experiences. You don't have to go through separation or divorce alone.

DivorceCare Study:

My husband, Mike, and I will be leading a DivorceCare group beginning August 7th at 12 noon. We meet upstairs at Cielo Vista Church, 3585 N. Lee Trevino Dr., El Paso, Texas.

While I believe that divorce should always be a last resort, sometimes divorce happens. When it does, it can be one of the loneliest and most painful journeys there is. If you’re not familiar with DivorceCare, it’s a small group study where caring people walk alongside you through one of life’s most difficult experiences. You don’t have to go through separation or divorce alone.

Call 915-594-4651 for more information.

 

The God Empowered Wife by K.B. Haught - Have you ever found yourself praying, "Dear God, please change my husband!" You've tried it all: nagging, encouraging, keeping quiet ... praying. You know there's a right way to impact you're marriage, but you're too frustrated to try.

Bible Study:

Have you ever found yourself praying, “Dear God, please change my husband!”

You’ve tried it all: nagging, encouraging, keeping quiet … praying. You know there’s a right way to impact your marriage, but you’re too frustrated to try.

Or maybe you just want to understand your husband better, why he does what he does, and how you can help him grow in the area of leading his family and growing as a believer in Christ.

I’ll be teaching a study based on  a book I featured a couple of weeks ago, The God Empowered Wife. We’ll meet Thursday mornings at 9:00 am beginning August 25th at Cielo Vista Church, 3585 N. Lee Trevino.

If you want to learn to work with God in your marriage, this study is for you. The results can be surprising and exciting!

Call 915-594-4651 for more information.

“Strengthening Your Marriage” + LINKUP

 

Welcome to Mondays @ Soul Survival. Each week I feature a book that I consider a valuable resource.

 

This week’s selection is Strengthening Your Marriage by Dr. Wayne Mack.

 

Strengthening Your Marriage - How is your marriage? Is it good? Is it great? Could it use some work or, at least, some fine tuning? Marriages, even good ones, need regular maintenance.How is your marriage? Is it good? Is it great? Could it use some work or, at least, some fine tuning? Marriages, even good ones, need regular maintenance.

Genesis 2.24 says:

For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.

This is much more than the obvious physical union between a man and a woman. This is a unity of hearts and goals that requires good communication and a laying down of our own selfish agendas to follow God’s agenda.

Amos 3.3 says, “Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?”

As Christians our goals should be in line with God’s goals for marriage, but that won’t happen unless we know and understand God’s blueprint.

Dr. Wayne Mack’s book, Strengthening Your Marriage, can be a great tool for helping any couple do just that. The book is made up of 8 Units to study together as a couple or as part of a small group:

  1. God’s Purpose for Marriage
  2. The Wife’s Responsibilities
  3. The Husband’s Responsibilities
  4. Good Communication
  5. Financial Agreement
  6. Sexual Unity
  7. Raising Children
  8. Family Religion

Each unit begins with a teaching section in the form of an amplified outline. Key points are noted and all points are accompanied by Scripture references. The teaching section is followed by study questions and practical exercises to work through as a couple. Dr. Mack says: Continue reading

A Wise or Foolish Woman: The Tongue & Ears

 

Are you a wise woman or a foolish one? Part 2: The Tongue & EarsThe Bible has a great deal to say about wisdom and its flip side, foolishness. In this series we’re looking at what it means to be wise and, by comparison, what it means to be foolish and how to recognize the difference.

 

Are you a wise woman or a foolish one? Part 2

The Tongue & Ears

 

woman of God

As I said in the first post (read it here), while I’m specifically addressing this to us as women, these truths are for everyone: young and old, men, women, and children.

 

wise woman

Our foundational Scripture is Proverbs 14.1  which says:

The wise woman builds her house,
But the foolish pulls it down with her hands.

 

wisdom

Our working definition of wisdom is, “wisdom is the right application of truth.” It’s not only knowing the truth, but applying it to the everyday situations of our lives!

Today we’ll begin looking at some of the specific things God has to say about wisdom, beginning with “the tongue” and the ears, how well we listen.  Continue reading

The God-Empowered Wife + LINKUP

 

Welcome to Mondays @ Soul Survival. Each week I feature a book that I consider a valuable resource.

This week’s selection is The God Empowered Wife: How Strong Women Can Help Their Husbands Become Godly Leaders by K.B. (Karen) Haught.

 

The God Empowered Wife by K.B. Haught

Have you ever found yourself praying, “Dear God, please change my husband!”

You’ve tried it all: nagging, encouraging, keeping quiet … praying. You know there’s a right way to impact your marriage, but you’re too frustrated to try.

Maybe the following sounds familiar?

You’re efficient, smart, organized, and make sure everything that needs to get done, gets done. You’re physically tired, yes, but mostly just tired of being the responsible one. Your husband is a decent guy who helps when asked—but you still have to ask, which means it’s still your responsibility. Sometimes you joke that having a husband is like having another child.

Then, there’s the marriage itself. Things look fine on the outside, but they’re not really. In public, your husband is charming and cheerful. At home, he’s distant or grouchy—apparently more interested in anything else than spending quality time together. Faith, instead of being something that defines your marriage, is a private, individual matter.

You’ve bought books on how to improve a marriage, but they all require at least some degree of cooperation from your husband. You can’t make him read something he’s not interested in; and learning how to be more romantic, helpful, and communicative isn’t exactly high on his list.

On good days, being married is like having a roommate; on bad days it’s like being in prison. Maybe that’s an exaggeration, but it’s a far cry from what you dreamt it would be like. With a few adjustments you could support yourself financially, and it’s tempting to think life might be easier alone. The question, “Who needs a husband, anyway?” has crossed your mind more than once.

He’s frustrated, too. Somewhere along the way, being married became more of a burden than a joy. The way you always “help” him drives him crazy and makes him feel inadequate. “I don’t need another mother,” he says to himself.

You have the “right” answer for everything—at least you think you do—and he’s tired of being corrected, criticized, and contradicted in what he says or does. It’s easier to bury himself in television, hobbies, or work than fit into your world—a world where he’s never quite good enough. He may not have said it out loud, but he’s probably thought it: “What does she need me for a husband, anyway?”

Or maybe you just want to understand your husband better, why he does what he does, and how you can help him grow in the area of leading his family and growing as a believer in Christ.

One reviewer said:  Continue reading

How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong + LINKUP

 

Welcome to Mondays @ Soul Survival. Each week I feature a book that I consider a valuable resource.

This week’s selection is How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong by Leslie Vernick.

 

How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong

If you’re married, you have an imperfect marriage. You have a spouse who sometimes acts wrong and so does he or she.

Marriages are imperfect, because people are imperfect. If we have accepted Christ and begun that redemptive journey, hopefully, we are on the road to becoming more like Him, but none of us has arrived!

It may be that both you and your spouse are seeking to be the husband and wife God wants you to be, but even then we fail at times. It may be that your spouse is sinning in much larger and more damaging ways.

Leslie says:

Sin is in all of us (Romans 3: 23). Attitudes and behaviors that come out of a self-centered, selfish, prideful, deceived, and/ or rebellious heart often express themselves in big, bad ways such as infidelity, lying, addictions, or abuse. The same sinful heart can also produce more benign but chronically irritating behaviors such as nagging and criticism, forgetting important occasions, failing to put dirty laundry in the hamper, not listening well, or staying glued to the television when our spouse is attempting to have a conversation with us. It can be just as difficult and discouraging to believe God and live by faith with a spouse who sins in subtle, less blatant ways as it can when a spouse commits the more grievous wrongs.

Most of us acknowledge that there are no perfect marriages or perfect spouses. We know that having a good marriage requires effort and hard work. At times, however, in the midst of that pain and struggle we can lose sight of what marriage is all about. We forget that we have made a covenant promise to love for better or worse. In the better times, love is usually easy. When worse comes, we often don’t know how to continue to love when we are angry, hurt, scared, or don’t feel very loving. We also aren’t exactly sure what that kind of love is supposed to look like. Do we just forbear? Forgive and forget? How and when do we apply the bolder forms of love?

Sadly, many just give up. The rate of divorce among believers isn’t much different than with couples outside the church, even though most of them know that God wants them to stay and work out their differences.

Others stay but become cold toward their spouses and toward God, believing He has commanded them to stay in an unhappy marriage. Others simply resign themselves and go about living two separate lives in one house.  Continue reading

Are you a wise woman or a foolish woman?

 

Are you a wise woman or a foolish woman? - The Bible has a great deal to say about wisdom and the flip side, foolishness. In this series we'll look at what it means to be wise and, by comparison, what it means to be foolish. And how we sometimes end up on the wrong side without even realizing it.I recently taught a lesson during our summer ladies’ Bible study. The posters promoting the series of lessons were very eye catching, but it was the tagline that caught my attention, “A woman of God can never be like a woman of the world.” My lesson was on wisdom versus foolishness which has everything to do with being a woman of God rather than a woman of the world.

The Bible has a great deal to say about wisdom and the flip side, foolishness. In this series we’ll look at what it means to be wise and, by comparison, what it means to be foolish and how to recognize the difference.

 

Are You a Wise or a Foolish Woman?

 

I’m speaking, primarily, to the ladies today, but these truths are for all of us: young and old, men, women, and children.

 

woman of God

 

As believers we live in 2 worlds or as Jesus called them, kingdoms. He said, “My kingdom is not of this world … (Jn. 18.36).

We belong to another kingdom, yet we still live in this earthly kingdom that we often refer to as “the world,” meaning the world’s system, where we’re exposed to the world’s way of doing things and the world’s values.

BUT interestingly …

 

When it comes to being wise or foolish … even the world says you should be wise!

 

Has anyone ever said to you, “Wise up!”

You’re never going to get a husband if you don’t sleep with him!

You’re not even going to keep a boyfriend!

You’re 30 years old. You can’t keep holding out for “Mr. Right”!

 

Wise up!

You need to look out for #1.

 

Wise up!

All that church wants is your money!

 

Wise up!

This is 2016, not the first century!

 

Wise up!

Everybody’s doing it!

 

Wise up!

Science has proven the Bible is wrong!

 

Wise up!

Are you a bigot? No one chooses to be gay!

 

Wise up!

 

They’ll tell you when they think you’re a fool, too!

 

You’re a fool, if you forgive your husband!

Submission? Are you crazy? … Only a fool would be some kind of a doormat!

 

You’re a fool if you wait for marriage to have sex!

You’re a fool if you stay home and raise your kids!

You’re a fool for believing the best of others!

You’re a fool for not doing whatever it takes to get ahead!

Wise up!

 

Even the world says you should be wise, but it’s not the same kind of wisdom! You see, the kingdom of God & “the kingdom of this world” are opposite worlds.

The Prophet Isaiah warned us about those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness (Is. 5.20).  Continue reading

“The Power of Prayer” + LINKUP

 

Welcome to Mondays @ Soul Survival. Each week I feature a book that I consider a valuable resource.

This week’s selection is The Power of Prayer in a Believer’s Life by Charles Spurgeon.

 

The Power of Prayer in a Believer's Life

If you spend hours in prayer each day and your prayer life is always amazing, this post probably isn’t for you. But if, like me, you sometimes feel like you’re going through the motions or you don’t always connect with God the way you would like, you might want to keep reading.

First, let me say that reading books about prayer cannot be a substitute for prayer itself, but I sometimes find it helpful to read a short portion in a good book on the subject at the start of my prayer time. It helps me get my focus off my upcoming appointments, the post that needs to be written, and the rest of my to-do list.

 

Charles Haddon Spurgeon was born in 1834 and died in 1892. He is still known today as “The Prince of Preachers.” He was called to his ministry in London at the age of 20 and started with a congregation of 232. By 1865 25,000 copies of his sermons were printed and sold each week and were translated into more than twenty languages. Spurgeon built the Metropolitan Tabernacle into a congregation of over 6,000 and added well over 14,000 members during his thirty-eight-year London ministry. It’s estimated that he preached to 10,000,000 people during his lifetime.

According to the editor:

He remains history’s most widely read preacher. There is more available material written by Spurgeon than by any other Christian author, living or dead. His sixty-three volumes of sermons stand as the largest set of books by a single author in the history of Christianity, comprising the equivalent to the twenty-seven volumes of the ninth edition of the Encyclopedia Britannica.

Many of his sermons were on the subject of prayer and he was known to implore the people of his congregation to pray for him. The Power of Prayer in a Believer’s Life has been carefully edited from many of those sermons.

His great success has been attributed to many things:

Much is made of the combination of a beautiful speaking voice, a dramatic flair and style that was captivating, a powerful commitment to a biblical theology, and his ability to speak to the people of his day in a manner that addressed their deepest needs. Undoubtedly, all of these were of major importance. But they don’t explain the most important ingredient.

Spurgeon had a different explanation:  Continue reading

Winner of the $50 Amazon Gift Card

 

Winner of Our Amazon Gift Card

Congratulations to Nikki! She’s the winner of Our $50 Amazon Gift Card daily posts signup contest.

 

Family Worship

If you missed your chance to sign up in June, SIGN UP now for a chance to win a copy of Donald Whitney’s book Family Worship! (drawing August 1)

Read my review.

Sign up for special “Christian Living” posts, too, (coming up “Are you a wise or foolish woman?”), you will also receive book reviews and notices of the Mondays @ Soul Survival LINKUP.