Are you losing that loving feeling? Has “red hot love” turned to “not tonight, honey”? Has passion given way to dirty socks on the floor, too many bills, and too little romance? There is a way to regain that feeling!
Are you losing that loving feeling?
Remember, Repent & Do
His comments to the church at Ephesus can also be applied to our personal lives and relationships, especially in marriage. He says in part:
1 “To the angel of the church of Ephesus write,
‘These things says He who holds the seven stars in His right hand, who walks in the midst of the seven golden lampstands. 2 “I know your works, your labor, your patience, and that you cannot bear those who are evil. And you have tested those who say they are apostles and are not, and have found them liars; 3 and you have persevered and have patience, and have labored for My name’s sake and have not become weary. 4 Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. 5 Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place—unless you repent.
Notice that Jesus started with encouragement, rather than criticism. He told them the things that He had seen that they were doing right. We should be careful to do the same in our relationships with our spouses and others.
Falling Out of Love
In marriage counseling and in conversations with many who are struggling in their marriages I’ve often heard, “I love him, but I’m just not ‘in love’ with him” or “We have just fallen out of love.”
Maybe that’s you or someone you know. Maybe you believe you have really tried to make it work, but the feelings just aren’t there. Notice Jesus, through the Apostle John, says, “I know your works …” Jesus sees the effort you have put into making things work.
But then He goes on to say, “I have this against you, that you have left your first love.” He doesn’t just say, “I understand. If you don’t have that ‘loving feeling’ any more, you can’t help it.” No, He provides the answer, “Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works …” one translation says, “…do the works you did before.”
When we first fall in love with someone, we think about them all the time. We tell ourselves good things about them. We think about how much we want to be with them. We focus on all their good points. We take time to talk and build our relationship.
On the other hand, when “life” starts to enter in and we realize he leaves his dirty socks everywhere and would rather watch football than have a meaningful conversation or that she criticizes your driving and is not always hot for romance, we start to tell ourselves other things. And guess what? Our feelings begin to change, as well.
The answer is the same in our individual relationships as it was for the Ephesians in their relationship with Christ, “remember …, repent …, and do …” Continue reading