Ask the Counselors: Romantic Breakups

 

Ask the Counselors: Romantic BreakupsRomantic Breakups:

Hello, I heard your husband speak at a conference last weekend & he gave us your website as a resource. I am a missionary & pastor’s wife in Juarez. In our church, we have 2 young women who just got out of romantic relationships that they had thought would end in marriage, but their Christian boyfriends ended their relationships unexpectedly. They want counseling, and I have a few resources I have accumulated over the years but wondered if you can recommend any specific books, Bible studies or other materials for me to work through with them.

Thank you for your time.

Blessings,
Kate

 

Dear Kate,

I’m so glad to hear from someone from the conference. Mike said he really enjoyed being a part of it.

Lou Priolo has an excellent book entitled Picking Up the Pieces. It’s a very helpful book for anyone going through a breakup of any kind whether they were married or, as in the case of your two young ladies, any romantic breakup. I, also, recommend it to people who were/are married and facing divorce, especially if it’s the other spouse insisting on it.

It also has an appendix in the back for people who were or are involved in an extramarital or immoral relationship and are struggling to break it off or with the feelings that won’t go away.

I hope you find it helpful.

Blessings,
Donna

Relationship Q & A: “Physical Abuse”

 

Physical Abuse: A few weeks ago my husband hit me. He said it would never happen again, but it did. I hope you can tell me what to do.Welcome to Soul Survival where I blog through the Bible and on all kinds of other subjects related to living the Christian life. My “day job” is counseling. I’m an ACBC certified counselor. I meet with couples, families and individuals to help them find God’s answers for the issues and struggles they face.

Besides meeting with people formally, I am frequently asked questions at church or by email. I’ll be answering some of those questions here on the blog. If you have a question you’d like to see answered (using only a first name or initial) you can submit it here.

 

TODAY’S QUESTION:

From J.:

A few weeks ago my husband hit me. The first time he told me it would never happen again, but last week it did. We have only been married 2 years and we have a new baby. My parents don’t live here, but I did talk to his mother. She seems to be concerned, but she doesn’t want me to tell anyone. I love my husband, but every time something goes wrong, I start to get afraid. I hope you can tell me what to do?
Continue reading

Relationship Issues: “Help! My Husband Won’t Lead!”

 

Relationship Issues: Help! My husband won't lead!Welcome to Soul Survival where I blog through the Bible and on all kinds of other subjects related to living the Christian life. My “day job” is counseling. I’m an ACBC certified counselor. I meet with couples, families and individuals to help them find God’s answers for the issues and struggles they face.

Besides meeting with people formally, I’m frequently asked questions at church or by email. I’ll be answering some of those questions here on the blog. If you have a question you’d like to see answered you can submit it here.

 

TODAY’S QUESTION:

From Sue:

I’m a new Christian and I’ve been attending a Bible study about being a godly wife. I realize I haven’t been the kind of wife I should. I know my husband is supposed to be the leader of our family. I have talked to him about it, but he doesn’t seem interested in being more involved. How can I get my husband to lead our family? Continue reading

Ask the counselors: Is hell a place?

Q and AJanene’s Question: Can you please tell me if hell is a place, then when did God create it?
May I post your Question/Answer on the website using only your first name? Yes
Dear Janene,
What a great question and one I’m sure many people have had.
Yes, hell is a real place. Jesus talked about the dangers of hell more than He talked about heaven. In the Sermon on the Mount alone (Matt. 5-7), He talked about it numerous times. In Luke 16, with the story of the rich man and Lazarus, Jesus gives us a great deal of detail about hell and its finality. The rich man begged for even a drop of water on his tongue and when he realized there would be no relief for him, begged Abraham to send someone to warn his brothers before they ended up there, too.
We must also ask ourselves why Jesus would have come and suffered the horrible death He endured unless there was something very real from which we needed to be saved.
As far as when God created hell, I don’t believe the Bible makes any reference to when He created either heaven or hell. It appears they both predated the creation account. But Matthew 25.41 says it was a place prepared for the devil and his angels.
I hope that helps.
Blessing,
Donna
What about you? Do you have a counseling question? Just click the link. Questions can be published with your first name only or kept completely confidential.

Ask the counselors: “A young widow asks about grief”

Lauren asks:

Question: I am 35, mother of two small children. My husband passed away suddenly last year in June. I have been working through my grief. I have shed many tears and have had many pity parties. However, The Lord always encourages me to keep pressing forward and to live with the knowledge that my husband is with him and that I still need to run this race of faith. I’m also a preacher. Many people think I have not grieved or reached this desperate place of grief. What are your thoughts? Can we as believers mourn, but mourn with the hope and expectation that to live is Christ and to die is gain? Continue reading

March 7 “The result of our complaining – fire in the camp”

As a nation we have complained, taken credit for His blessings, and kicked Him out of the government, the schools, and the public arenas of life. Is it any wonder it has finally produced “fire in the camp”?

complaining

Today’s Readings:
Numbers 11 & 12
Psalm 31.15-18
Proverbs 11.12-14
Mark 10.1-31

Numbers 11 & 12:

Fire in the camp

Chapter 11.1, “Now when the people complained, it displeased the LORD; for the LORD heard it, and His anger was aroused. So the fire of the LORD burned among them, and consumed some in the outskirts of the camp.”

God had been merciful to the Israelites. He had delivered them from 400 years of bondage in Egypt. He not only brought them out of Egypt without a fight, but had caused the Egyptians to give them a great deal of wealth as they left (Ps. 105.37). He led them and protected them from the pursuing Egyptian army and parted the Red Sea so they could cross on dry land. He comforted them and warned away their enemies with a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night.

As they traveled their feet didn’t swell and their clothes didn’t wear out (Neh. 9.21). He fed them with food from heaven (manna), gave them water in the wilderness and demonstrated His power and presence over and over.

Yet … what did they do? They complained!

And what about us as Americans? We live in perhaps the greatest and most prosperous nation on earth. Our poor are better off than the majority in many nations. God has blessed us with an abundance of natural resources, a beautiful land, creativity and ingenuity beyond measure. We have freedoms almost unheard of in the world: freedom to worship, freedom to vote, freedom to pursue an education, freedom to live where we want, even freedom to protest. Instead of being thankful we frequently complain.

Not only have we complained, but we have taken credit for the things with which He has blessed us and kicked Him out of the government, the schools, and the public arenas of life. Is it any wonder our complaining, unthankfulness, and rejection of God as a nation has finally produced “fire in the camp”? Continue reading

Ask the Counselors – Is it wrong to file a lawsuit against a former employer?

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Question from Kathy:

(Note: Kathy gave me permission to post her question and my answer using only her first name.)

Good Morning Donna!

So, here’s the story up to my firing… I was employed up until Tuesday of last week. I have been having a lot of trials and persecution from my manager throughout my time of employment with this company… She and her favored employee have been watching every move that I make to see if I would make a big enough mistake to be fired over. And although I had been doing my best to remain faultless and truly focus on how Jesus would act in demonstrating peace, love, joy and kindness while he was being persecuted… I would keep reminding myself that I’m not working for man… but rather for The Lord. So after I was sick a couple of times and out due to a work related back injury… she was able to fire me. Side note; my manager has been reported 2 other times for seeking women out and trying to get them fired. Continue reading