“Do Your Kids Know You LIKE Them?” May 16

 

Do Your Kids Know You LIKE Them? - I counsel a lot of people who struggle because of words that were spoken to them as children. Certainly, God can use it for good as He helps them find their identity in Him, but how sad when our kids have to overcome our parenting, rather than remember it with gratitude. You kids will be grown before you know it. How will they remember you? They may know you love them, but do they know you like them?I counsel a lot of people who struggle because of words that were spoken to them as children. Certainly, God can use it for good as He helps them find their identity in Him, but how sad when our kids have to overcome our parenting, rather than remember it with gratitude. You kids will be grown before you know it. How will they remember you? They may know you love them, but do they know you like them?

 

Today’s Readings:
2 Samuel 3 & 4
Psalm 62.5-12
Proverbs 16.13-15
John 4.31-54

 

Do Your Kids Know You LIKE Them?

 

Proverbs 16.13-15:

In the Light of the King’s (& Queen’s) Face

 

Verse 15, “In the light of the king’s face is life, and his favor is like a cloud of the latter rain.”

Leaders have a great opportunity to be a blessing by encouraging those under them. My husband recently picked up a book about the top 10 mistakes leaders make. One of the big 10 was failing to encourage!

No where do we have a greater opportunity to encourage (or discourage!) than in our homes with our spouses and with our children.

That’s one reason why husbands are commanded to live with their wives in a understanding way (1 Pet. 3.7) and wives are commanded to show respect for their husbands (Eph. 5.33) and to have a gentle spirit (1 Pet. 3.2). Even when we must reprove one another we are to do it with gentleness (Gal. 6.1).

As parents, Colossians 3.21 instructs us to “not provoke [our] children, lest they become discouraged.” Parenting is not about giving our children everything they want (far from it!) or allowing them to do what pleases them, but we can and should parent in a way that encourages them and not in a way that discourages them.

Do your kids know you LIKE them?Megan Scheibner and her husband Steve have a website called “Character Health.” In her blog she wrote:

There are many things that my children know. They know how to read, they know how to pray, they know how to do their chores, etc. But, there are just as many things that I assume my children know without ever making sure that my assumption is correct … The first is this: don’t assume your children know you like them. Yes, my children know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I love them, however, do they know that I like them?

How are your relationships with your children? Is it all about what they do wrong? Is it all about getting their homework and chores done? Is it all about the next scheduled activity? Do you ever take the time to just let your kids know you like them and enjoy spending time with them? 

They’ll be grown before you know it. How will they remember your parenting? Consider making it a goal to find something good to say to each of your children every day, some way, as Megan said, of letting them know you like them.

 

Today’s Other Readings:

 

2 Samuel 3 & 4:

Politics as Usual

 

There truly is nothing new under the sun. As David rises to greater power, we see political infighting (Abner and Joab), jostling for power (Abner), and the forming of alliances through human means rather than God’s (probably the reason David took many of his wives).

Even though David was God’s chosen king he fell far short. One of the things kings were strictly forbidden to do was to gather wives and horses, gold and silver, and the like (Deut. 17.14-20). They were to rely on God and to depend on His power and means. Yet, he resorted to human plans and resources.

As is the case with so many biblical stories, it should give us hope that God can and will use each of us. But it shouldn’t give us an excuse not to learn from the mistakes of our spiritual ancestors, as well as, our own.

 

Psalm 62.5-12:

Trust in God Alone

 

The psalmist continues his theme of trusting in God and making Him your Rock. He warns that all else will fail us:

“Surely men of low degree are a vapor, men of high degree are a lie; if they are weighed on the scales, they are altogether lighter than vapor. Do not trust in oppression, nor vainly hope in robbery; If riches increase, do not set your heart on them” (vv. 9-10).

We are warned against trusting in our own perceived humility, in our own power or influence, in forcing our will on others, in stealing or deceiving to get what we want, or in financial success. All those things will fail you, as David learned, but God never fails!

 

John 4.31-54:

In Our Own Hometown

 

Verse 44, “For Jesus Himself testified that a prophet has no honor in his own country.”

Even in Jesus’ personal life we see the truth many of us have learned: often our own families are the most critical, the least likely to see God’s hand in our lives, and the last ones to receive biblical truth from us.

That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be faithful to speak the truth in love as we have opportunity. But we should also be careful to live uprightly before them, so we don’t give them reason to reject the gospel.

 

What about You? Questions to Ponder or Journal:

 

kozzi journalAre you an encourager? Or do you spend more time correcting and criticizing? What are some of the ways you encourage those around you?

What about with your kids? Do they know you like them?

How is your trust in God? Do you trust in Him alone or do you put your trust in the things of this world?

Blessings,
Donna


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10 thoughts on ““Do Your Kids Know You LIKE Them?” May 16

  1. Donna, I think this a very important post! When I was counseling I heard similar things. It can be so easy in the rush and demands of most days for parents to be unaware they often give more critiques that sound negative than expressing real enjoyment in the children they are raising. Sadly, the messages that go in that are not positive last a long time and are very difficult to erase and can affect how much we feel God can like or love us too! Thanks for stepping into this one!

    • Yes, I agree, Pam. And so often we don’t realize what we’re doing. We need to be aware and purposeful about the messages we’re sending. So glad you were here today. Have a great week.

  2. I love this.
    I have “evolved” as a parent and I feel that relationship is so much more important than correcting. I see myself as a coach, a guide. We don’t do rewards or punishments. We love being together and learning as a family. I respect my kids as individuals.
    My kids are 7, 10, 11, and 16 and they’re so happy, independent, dependable, loving, and LOVED compared to others we know.

    • While I do believe biblical correction (as opposed to constant criticism) is part of coaching and guiding, it’s so important to build a genuine relationship. As our children grow it becomes more and more about influence rather than control and we can’t have influence without relationship! So glad you were here today, Jennifer.

  3. I’m actually working on this! As our kids get older and there are adult kids and grand kids, life just feels LARGE and out of control, but I still want them to know that I cherish time with them and that they are wonderful people that I enjoy being with.

    • I’m working on the same thing, Michele. I understand what you mean about life feeling large and out of control. How good to know God has it all under control even when we aren’t feelin’ it! LOL Have a great week, my friend!

  4. So important… and a careless remark can take root and cause many problems down the road. I see adults who flounder because they never felt grounded or treasured at home… I think it is also important to apologize for those careless remarks or other offenses… they happen and ignoring them only lengthens the problem. Humbling ourselves, even as parents, can be glorifying to God and can teach our children that we are also under authority. There are people who are so interested in teaching their children that they “like” them that they allow bad habits and attitudes in the child… that is a wrong being done to the child that will have severe consequences. We must have balance in our lives… and in our relationships…. and yes, we should treasure those precious ones! 🙂 My kids know I love them… and they know that I like them :)….. they also know I will rebuke them if necessary and that I still love them … as God still loves us even when He has to rebuke us. Thank you for your post.

    • Loved your explanation about the importance of balance and it’s so important what you said about seeking forgiveness as soon as we realized we’ve sinned. It can go a long way in healing hurts. Blessings!

  5. Donna, this topic is so important! It can be so easy to forget to encourage those we love by assuming they already know what we think even though it hasn’t been said. My husband’s love language is words of affirmation, so it’s always been important for me to give him the affirmation that he needs and that has taught me how to encourage my children well. Thanks for linking up with #TuneInThursday this week. See you next time!

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