“Parental Legalism” September 26


parentingCould you be guilty of parental legalism? Parental legalists often focus on behavior as opposed to the heart. If we make Christianity all about “the law,” we may fail to help our children understand their need for genuine heart change and a personal relationship with Christ.

Also read about:

  • How and how not to communicate with a person who is acting like a fool.
  • And the foolishness of idolatry, even the kind you may be practicing.


Today’s Readings:
Isaiah 43 & 44
Psalm 110.1-7
Proverbs 26.5-9
Galatians 4.1-31


Parental Legalism


Galatians 4.1-31:

The Importance of Getting to the Heart


I’ve been talking about legalism for several days now. Remember the Judaizers or legalists had come in trying to impose their brand of religion on the Galatians. As human beings we love having a set of rules to follow instead of allowing God to make a change in our hearts or the hearts of others.

Lou Priolo in his book The Heart of Anger talks about how we do this with our children. We make our rules (be in bed at 8.30; you can’t watch that TV show; no dating until you are 16; don’t talk with food in your mouth) on the same par with God’s commands (love God with all your heart; love your neighbor as yourself; do not lie; do not steal, etc.).

It’s not that children shouldn’t obey the rules their parents lay down for them (one of God’s commands is “children obey your parents in the Lord …” Eph. 6.1-3), but we must help our children understand that those are temporary rules for the household and not God’s law. Otherwise we run the risk of either making little Pharisees of our children or causing them to view Christianity as a legalistic religion instead of a relationship with Christ. Without that personal relationship with God, many of our kids will turn away from the things of God once they’re out of our homes.

Instead we need to lovingly teach our children to obey us as God’s temporary authority in their lives, while teaching them the truths and freedoms and principles of a genuine relationship with God and helping them see their need for the Savior. He is the only One who can ultimately change their hearts.


Today’s Other Readings:


Isaiah 43 & 44:

Idolatry … It’s Not Just Carved Images!


In chapter 44.10-17 Isaiah points out the foolishness of idolatry

idol idolatry

10 Who would form a god or mold an image
That profits him nothing? …

12 The blacksmith with the tongs works one in the coals,
Fashions it with hammers,
And works it with the strength of his arms …
13 The craftsman stretches out his rule,
He marks one out with chalk;
He fashions it with a plane,
He marks it out with the compass,
And makes it like the figure of a man,
According to the beauty of a man, that it may remain in the house.
14 He cuts down cedars for himself,
And takes the cypress and the oak;
He secures it for himself among the trees of the forest.
He plants a pine, and the rain nourishes it.

15 Then it shall be for a man to burn,
For he will take some of it and warm himself;
Yes, he kindles it and bakes bread;
Indeed he makes a god and worships it;
He makes it a carved image, and falls down to it.
16 He burns half of it in the fire;
With this half he eats meat;
He roasts a roast, and is satisfied.
He even warms himself and says,
“Ah! I am warm,
I have seen the fire.”
17 And the rest of it he makes into a god,
His carved image.
He falls down before it and worships it,
Prays to it and says,
“Deliver me, for you are my god!”

But worshipping carved and molded images is not the only kind of idolatry. In the book of Ezekiel God rebuked the people for the idols that were in their hearts (Ezek. 14.1-8).

An idol is anything we want more than we want to please God. Even good things can be idols if they are not in their rightful place in our lives. If we think, “I must have a godly husband or I can’t be happy” or “I must have success in my career,” it’s idolatry.

It’s not wrong to want a godly husband, to pray for a godly husband, or to seek to be the kind of wife that draws her husband into a closer relationship with God (1 Pet. 3.1-2). It’s not wrong to be diligent and seek to do the best job we can. The problem is in the I-must-have attitude.

To think that wealth or power or position or popularity is going to make us happy in the long run is foolishness. It leaves many asking, “Is this all there is?,” because once attained, those things are empty of any ability to fill the real longings of our hearts.

Even things like having a godly husband or obedient children more than we desire to please God is sin. Sin will hurt our relationship with God (Ps. 66.18), leave us dissatisfied (Prov. 27.20) and ready for a fall.


Psalm 110.1-7:

The Coming Messiah


This is one of the Messianic psalms pointing to the coming of Christ not only in His first advent as Savior, but also in His second coming as King and Priest.

Proverbs 26.5-9:

Answer a Fool as His Folly Deserves


fool arguing

Verse 4 in yesterday’s reading says:

“Do not answer a fool according to his folly, lest you also be like him.”

Verse 5 in today’s reading says:

“Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes.”

As first glance it appears these two verses contradict one another. The NASB translation of verse 5 is probably a better one. It says:

“Answer a fool as his folly deserves, that he not be wise in his own eyes.”

Verse 4 warns us to not be just like the fool in our response to him, adding foolishness to foolishness, arguing to arguing, etc. And verse 5 instructs us to respond biblically to his words and actions instead. That would mean speaking the truth in love, rebuking in a spirit of gentleness, praying instead of arguing, giving a soft answer, not casting our pearls to the swine, or whatever biblical response is appropriate to the situation.


Your Thoughts:

How has God spoken to you today? Did you see a passage in a new light? Did you see an area where you need to grow and change? Did you find a promise to hold on to? I’d love to hear your thoughts.


Have a great day in the Lord,


Other posts on parenting:

“Parenting from the Foot of the Cross”
“Parenting: Raising Kids with Servants Hearts”
“Parenting, Pruning & Praying for Our Nation”
“The danger of Raising or Being Hypocrites”


Featured resources on Kindle or in books:

The Heart of Anger, The: Practical Help for the Prevention and Cure of Anger in Children by Lou Priolo

Lou Priolo has a remarkable gift for taking truths that many parents find difficult and elusive, and unfolding them with incredible clarity and simplicity. He wields the sword of the Spirit in a creative way, unravelling some difficult parenting problems that seem impossibly puzzling to many. And he reveals that raising children in a biblical manner does not have to be as hard as most people make it. The Heart of Anger is help for parents of angry children. It goes beyond the external manifestations of anger, and shows how to deal with the internal source of anger— the thoughts and motives of the heart (Heb. 4: 12). The book will also be helpful to parents who themselves struggle with sinful anger. This wonderful book will encourage struggling parents— even those whose children do not struggle with anger— and it will help fortify families against the onslaughts of an evil, angry age. —John MacArthur

Don’t Make Me Count to Three by Ginger Hubbard
Do you find yourself threatening, repeating your instructions, or raising your voice in an attempt to get your children to obey? Are you discouraged because it seems you just can t reach the heart of your child? Through personal experience and the practical application of Scripture, Ginger Hubbard encourages and equips moms to reach past the outward behavior of their children and dive deeply into the issues of the heart. Ginger’s candid approach will help moms move beyond the frustrations of not knowing how to handle issues of disobedience and into a confident, well-balanced approach to raising their children.

You can also Shop for Other Resources.

Getting ready for 2017

The holidays are just around the corner and the new year will be on us before we know it. What will you do to make Bible reading an ongoing habit in the coming year? I’d like to encourage you to set a goal to read through the Bible.

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And I hope you’ll sign up for my daily email. It can serve as a gentle reminder to stay on track. I try to make comments that are relevant to the daily struggles and questions that I hear in my counseling and discipleship ministries.

Start today so you can begin the habit and it will be a regular part of your day come January.

You can also follow me on Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, or Google+. Just click on the social media icons. But nothing replaces having the daily devotion pop up in your inbox each day. It, usually (once in a while life gets in the way), goes out at 3 a.m. MST, so it’s there for early risers no matter what time zone you’re in.

As an incentive, I’ll be giving away one daily Bible to someone who signs up between now and October 31st and another one to someone who leaves a comment between now and then.

So will you join me and, possibly, encourage someone else to do the same. Let’s get ready and grow in our relationship with Him together.

SIgn UP FOR THE “BIBLE IN A YEAR” DAILY POSTS TODAY so you don’t miss a single one!

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Previous posts in the “Blended Families” series:

Blended Families Part 1: The Losses & the Gains

Blended Families Part 2: The Same Only Different

Blended Families Part 3: Loving Not Liking Each Other

Blended Families Part 4: The Goal of Life

Previous posts in the “Wise Woman” series:

A Wise Woman or Foolish One? Part 1

A Wise Woman or a Foolish One? Part 2: The Tongue & Ears

A Wise Woman or a Foolish One? Part 3: Money & Stuff

A Wise Woman or a Foolish One? Part 4: Friends & Counselors

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