September 26 “Parental legalism”

parenting, mother scolding her son with pointed fingerParental legalists often focus on behavior as opposed to the heart. If we make Christianity all about “the law,” we may fail to help our children understand their need for a personal relationship with God.

Today’s Readings:
Isaiah 43 & 44
Psalm 110.1-7
Proverbs 26.5-9
Galatians 4.1-31

 

Isaiah 43 & 44:

Foolishness of idolatry

In chapter 44.10-17 Isaiah points out the foolishness of idolatry:

10 Who would form a god or mold an image
That profits him nothing? …

12 The blacksmith with the tongs works one in the coals,
Fashions it with hammers,
And works it with the strength of his arms …
13 The craftsman stretches out his rule,
He marks one out with chalk;
He fashions it with a plane,
He marks it out with the compass,
And makes it like the figure of a man,
According to the beauty of a man, that it may remain in the house.
14 He cuts down cedars for himself,
And takes the cypress and the oak;
He secures it for himself among the trees of the forest.
He plants a pine, and the rain nourishes it.

15 Then it shall be for a man to burn,
For he will take some of it and warm himself;
Yes, he kindles it and bakes bread;
Indeed he makes a god and worships it;
He makes it a carved image, and falls down to it.
16 He burns half of it in the fire;
With this half he eats meat;
He roasts a roast, and is satisfied.
He even warms himself and says,
“Ah! I am warm,
I have seen the fire.”
17 And the rest of it he makes into a god,
His carved image.
He falls down before it and worships it,
Prays to it and says,
“Deliver me, for you are my god!”

It’s hard to imagine anyone believing a carved or molded image could help or save them. And yet, that is the deceitfulness of all sin and idolatry! To think that alcohol or drugs or food or spending or something else, while it may bring some temporary pleasure, can actually change anything is just as ridiculous!

To think that wealth or power or position or popularity is going to make us happy in the long run is foolishness. It leaves many asking “Is this all there is?” because, once attained, those things are empty of any ability to fill the real longings of our hearts.

Worse yet, making those things the focus of their lives, seeking to attain them, or trying to hang on to all they can, will ultimately lead many to eternal damnation.

 

Psalm 110.1-7:

The coming Messiah

This is one of the Messianic psalms pointing to the coming of Christ not only in His first advent as Savior, but also in His second coming as King and Priest.

 

arguing, head to headProverbs 26.5-9:

Answer a fool as his folly deserves

Verse 4 in yesterday’s reading says:

“Do not answer a fool according to his folly, lest you also be like him.”

Verse 5 in today’s reading says:

“Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes.”

As first glance it appears these two verses contradict one another. The NASB translation of verse 5 is probably a better one. It says:

“Answer a fool as his folly deserves, that he not be wise in his own eyes.”

Verse 4 warns us to not be just like the fool in our response to him, adding foolishness to foolishness, arguing to arguing, etc. And verse 5 instructs us to respond biblically to his words and actions instead. That would mean speaking the truth in love, rebuking in a spirit of gentleness, praying instead of arguing, giving a soft answer, not casting our pearls to the swine, or whatever biblical response is appropriate to the situation.

 

Galatians 4.1-31:

Parental legalism

I’ve been talking about legalism for several days now. Remember the Judaizers or legalists had come in trying to impose their brand of religion on the Galatians. As human beings we love having a set of rules to follow instead of allowing God to make a change in our hearts or the hearts of others.

Lou Priolo in his book The Heart of Anger talks about how we do this with our children. We make our rules (be in bed at 8.30; you can’t watch that TV show; no dating until you are 16; don’t talk with food in your mouth) on the same par with God’s commands (love God with all your heart; love your neighbor as yourself; do not lie; do not steal).

It’s not that children shouldn’t obey the rules their parents lay down for them (one of God’s commands is “children obey your parents in the Lord …”), but we must help our children understand that those are temporary rules for the household and not God’s law. Otherwise we run the risk of either making little Pharisees of our children or causing them to view Christianity as a legalistic religion instead of a relationship with Christ. Without that personal relationship with God, many of our kids will turn away from the things of God once they’re out of our homes.

Instead we need to lovingly teach our children to obey us as God’s temporary provision in their lives, while teaching them the truths and freedoms and principles of a genuine relationship with God and helping them see their need for the Savior. He is the only One who can ultimately change their hearts.

Have a great day in the Lord,
Donna

Other posts on parenting:

Parenting from the foot of the cross
Handling difficult people & parenting difficult children
Are you raising rulers or servants?
Parental hypocrites

 

Featured resources on Kindle or in books:

The Heart of Anger, The: Practical Help for the Prevention and Cure of Anger in Children by Lou Priolo

Lou Priolo has a remarkable gift for taking truths that many parents find difficult and elusive, and unfolding them with incredible clarity and simplicity. He wields the sword of the Spirit in a creative way, unravelling some difficult parenting problems that seem impossibly puzzling to many. And he reveals that raising children in a biblical manner does not have to be as hard as most people make it. The Heart of Anger is help for parents of angry children. It goes beyond the external manifestations of anger, and shows how to deal with the internal source of anger— the thoughts and motives of the heart (Heb. 4: 12). The book will also be helpful to parents who themselves struggle with sinful anger. This wonderful book will encourage struggling parents— even those whose children do not struggle with anger— and it will help fortify families against the onslaughts of an evil, angry age. —John MacArthur

Don’t Make Me Count to Three by Ginger Hubbard
Do you find yourself threatening, repeating your instructions, or raising your voice in an attempt to get your children to obey? Are you discouraged because it seems you just can t reach the heart of your child? Through personal experience and the practical application of Scripture, Ginger Hubbard encourages and equips moms to reach past the outward behavior of their children and dive deeply into the issues of the heart. Ginger’s candid approach will help moms move beyond the frustrations of not knowing how to handle issues of disobedience and into a confident, well-balanced approach to raising their children.

 

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