Handling Depression Biblically – Part 3 + LINKUP

 

Handling Depression Biblically - Part 3

There are numerous reasons that a person might feel depressed. We can be depressed because of a loss or a set back, because of a lack of sleep, or because of illness. And I don’t have to tell you ladies about hormonal issues. And, sometimes, there is no known cause other than living life in sin-cursed bodies in a fallen world.

It’s, also, true that a failure to handle the events and responsibilities of life in a biblical way can cause feelings of depression. But we must be very careful about making assumptions where others are concerned.

 

Welcome to Mondays @ Soul Survival.

 

We’re in a series on “Handling Emotions Biblically.” We started with anger and then moved on to depression. Two weeks ago we discussed the medical, cultural and biblical definitions of depression and last week we looked at the lives of two of the prophets, Elijah and Jeremiah, and how God ministered to them when they experienced feelings of depression. We, also, discussed the difference between depression and discouragement. If you missed them, you may want to read them first.

 

Handling Depression Biblically – Part 3

 

Today we’re going to look at David’s life and talk about the “S-word,” sin, as it relates to depression.

I can already feel someone’s blood pressure starting to rise, so allow me to make a few disclaimers before we get started.

First, there are numerous reasons that a person might feel depressed. We can be depressed because of a loss or a set back, because of a lack of sleep, or because of illness. And I don’t have to tell you ladies about hormonal issues. And, sometimes, there is no known cause other than living life in sin-cursed bodies in a fallen world.

Many godly men and women have struggled with feelings of depression, including: the “Prince of Preachers,” Charles Spurgeon; the great reformer, Martin Luther; and poet and hymn writer, William Cowper. Last week we talked about “The Weeping Prophet,” Jeremiah, and Elijah, who defeated and killed 400 prophets of Baal, only to become so depressed afterwards that he wanted to die.

But it’s, also, true that a failure to handle the events and responsibilities of life in a biblical way can cause feelings of depression. So while we must be very careful about making assumptions where others are concerned, we need to address sin as a possible cause of depression.

 

David

 

If anyone had a reason to suffer from depression, it was David. It seems the man God called “a man after His own heart” (Acts 13.22) and “the sweet psalmist of Israel” (2 Sam. 23.1) had plenty of opportunities.

When Samuel came to anoint the next king of Israel from among Jesse’s sons, his father didn’t even call him in from the field (1 Sam. 16.5-13).

When he stood up to the giant Goliath, his brother made fun of him.

26 Then David spoke to the men who stood by him, saying, “What shall be done for the man who kills this Philistine and takes away the reproach from Israel? For who is this uncircumcised Philistine, that he should defy the armies of the living God?”

28 Now Eliab his oldest brother heard when he spoke to the men; and Eliab’s anger was aroused against David, and he said, “Why did you come down here? And with whom have you left those few sheep in the wilderness? I know your pride and the insolence of your heart, for you have come down to see the battle.”

Then, even though he killed the giant and served Saul faithfully on and off the battlefield, Saul continually broke his promises to David (1 Sam. 18.17-19) and, eventually sought to kill him out of jealousy (1 Sam. 18.8-11).

And even though God had proclaimed him the next king, years went by while he was pursued by Saul, disrespected by others (1 Sam. 25.9-11) and, even, threatened by his own men (1 Sam. 30.6).

After he became king, he was betrayed by his close friend and his own son (2 Sam. 15.10-12).

Frequently, in the psalms, David cried out to the Lord because of his trials and distresses. But perhaps the clearest example of his struggle with depressed emotions takes place after his sin with Bathsheba (2 Sam. 11.2-5). In Psalm 32 he gives us a snapshot of what he learned about sin, confession, and forgiveness.

When I kept silent, my bones grew old
Through my groaning all the day long.
For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me;
My vitality was turned into the drought of summer. Selah (NLT).

A good description of many of the physical feelings connected with depression.

Finally, I confessed all my sins to you
    and stopped trying to hide my guilt.
I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.”
    And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.

And verse 1:

Oh, what joy for those 
whose disobedience is forgiven,
whose sin is put out of sight!
Yes, what joy for those 
whose record the Lord has cleared of guilt,
whose lives are lived in complete honesty!

What he learned:

Therefore, let all the godly pray to you while there is still time,
    that they may not drown in the floodwaters of judgment.

The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.
    I will advise you and watch over you.
Do not be like a senseless horse or mule
    that needs a bit and bridle to keep it under control.”

10 Many sorrows come to the wicked,
    but unfailing love surrounds those who trust the Lord.

God shows us the way to live righteously. When we follow His instructions, we will, generally, experience feelings of peace and joy. That doesn’t mean we’ll never have challenges, losses, or disappointments. But when we respond God’s way we can trust Him to give us the strength to walk through them, in spite of feelings to the contrary.  Continue reading

Handling Depression Biblically – Part 2 + LINKUP

 

Handling Depression Biblically - Part 2 - Depression, if you’ve ever suffered with it, you know it can be a dark, discouraging place to be. At its worst, it’s been called the “dark night of the soul.” But there is hope for those experiencing discouragement, depression, and hopelessness.

Did people in biblical times experience feelings of depression? Is so, what can we learn from their lives and God’s interaction with them?

 

Welcome to Mondays @ Soul Survival.

 

We’re in a series on “Handling Emotions Biblically.” Previously we covered how to handle anger in God honoring ways. You can click the link above to read those posts.

Last week we began discussing depression, in particular, the different definitions of depression: the medical definition, the cultural and the biblical.

 

Handling Depression Biblically – Part 2

 

Last week I said that no one is immune to feelings of depression. For some it’s a mild sense of sadness, for others it can feel debilitating. Today we’re going to look at the biblical definition again and how it compares to discouragement. We’ll, also, look at Elijah’s and Jeremiah’s lives and how they responded to these feelings.

 

Depression or Discouragement?

 

The feelings involved in both depression and discouragement are much the same. They can be extremely painful and difficult and can tempt us to give in to them. The depressed person responds by shutting down. He or she stops functioning in some or all areas of life.

She may stop going to work, quit cleaning the house, avoid people, or refuse to get out of bed altogether. But when a person is discouraged, as I’m defining it here, he or she keeps going, keeps handling life, in spite of their feelings to the contrary.

So, I would define depression as, “a debilitating mood, feeling or attitude of hopelessness which becomes a person’s reason for not handling the most important issues of life.”

The difference between discouragement and depression is immobility. With depression there is an almost total reliance on feelings and those feelings become the basis for their action or inaction.

Numerous people in the Bible experienced feelings of discouragement and/or depression, including: Elijah, David, Jonah, Jeremiah, and Cain.

Today we’ll look at a two of the prophets, Elijah and Jeremiah, and next week we’ll talk about David, Jonah, and Cain.  Continue reading

Handling Depression Biblically – Part 1 + LINKUP

 

Handling Depression Biblically - Part 1 - Depression, if you’ve ever suffered with it, you know it can be a dark, discouraging place to be. At its worst, it’s been called the “dark night of the soul.”Depression, if you’ve ever suffered with it, you know it can be a dark, discouraging place to be. At its worst, it’s been called the “dark night of the soul.”

Welcome to Mondays @ Soul Survival.

 

We’re in a series on “Handling Emotions Biblically.” Previously we covered how to handle anger in God honoring ways. You can click the link to read those posts.

Today we’ll begin talking about depression and how to handle it biblically. In future posts, we’ll also cover:

Guilt
Fear & Worry
Trials & Suffering

 

Handling Depression Biblically – Part 1

 

No one is immune to feelings of depression. Pastors and many great men and women of God have struggled with depression and discouragement. So can housewives, executives, doctors, lawyers, salesmen, writers and Bible teachers.

For some it’s a mild feeling of sadness for others it can feel debilitating.

People in the Bible suffered from what many would call depression today, including Elijah, David, Jonah, Jeremiah, and Cain.

 

What Is Depression?

 

Before we talk more about depression, we need to define it. Most of us probably believe we know what it is, but we may find that there’s a wide range of definitions.

 

The Medical Definition

 

The medical world would define depression based on the DSM-5, The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition.

According to the DSM-5 a person is depressed if, “Five (or more) of the following symptoms have been present during the same 2-week period and represent a change from previous functioning; at least one of the symptoms is either (1) depressed mood or (2) loss of interest or pleasure (excluding symptoms that are clearly attributable to another medical condition).

  1. Depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day, as indicated by either subjective report (e.g., feels sad, empty, hopeless) or observation made by others (e.g., appears tearful). (Note: In children and adolescents, can be irritable mood.)
  2. Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities most of the day, nearly every day (as indicated by either subjective account or observation.)
  3. Significant weight loss when not dieting or weight gain (e.g., a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month), or decrease or increase in appetite nearly every day. (Note: In children, consider failure to make expected weight gain.)
  4. Insomnia or hypersomnia nearly every day.
  5. Psychomotor agitation or retardation nearly every day (observable by others, not merely subjective feelings of restlessness or being slowed down).
  6. Fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day.
  7. Feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt (which may be delusional) nearly every day (not merely self-reproach or guilt about being sick).
  8. Diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness, nearly every day (either by subjective account or as observed by others).
  9. Recurrent thoughts of death (not just fear of dying), recurrent suicidal ideation without a specific plan, or a suicide attempt or a specific plan for committing suicide.

Notice that the criteria are based on thinking and behavior, not changes in the body, and that the descriptions are subjective not objective.

According to Web MD,

There is no blood test, X-ray, or other laboratory test that can be used to diagnose major depression. However, your doctor may run blood tests to help detect any other medical problems that have symptoms similar to those of depression.

[Diagnosis is] based on self-described thinking and feelings and/or the observations of others.

I don’t note those facts to make light of the reality and intensity of the feelings, only so we can talk about depression in biblical terms.

Clinical depression means that a physician has used his clinical skills based on the complaints of the patient and his own observation.

The most common medical explanation for depression is chemical imbalance. Through the years different chemicals have been mentioned. The one considered the primary culprit has changed numerous times over the last 30 years or so. But while this is widely accepted, even medical journals say it’s a theory and not a fact.

According to Web MD some common triggers or causes of major depression include:  Continue reading

Handling Emotions Biblically + LINKUP

 

Handling Emotions Biblically - Emotions are real and part of being human. In fact, God created us as emotional beings. But problems result when we allow our emotions to control our thoughts, words, and actions. When that happens, we can quickly end up in a ditch, spiritually and relationally.

Welcome to Mondays @ Soul Survival.

I had planned to begin discussing depression in this week’s post, but sometimes life intervenes. I’m hanging out with family this week-end and just didn’t have time to complete the post.

But here’s the linkup.

 

Last week was the 3rd of three posts on anger. If you haven’t read all of them you can find them here, “Handling Anger Biblically.”

God willing, next week we’ll begin talking about “Handling Depression & Discouragement Biblically. And over the next couple of months, we’ll also talk about:

Guilt
Fear & Worry
Trials & Suffering

I hope you’ll be here each week (post goes live at 5 PM MST on Sundays). Praying each of you has a wonderful Memorial Day week-end.

Blessings,
Donna


IF YOU ARE A BLOGGER, IT’S TIME TO LINKUP!

IF NOT, CHECK OUT THE GREAT POSTS LINKED BELOW!

Christian bloggers linkup

Mondays @ Soul Survival is a place to share your insights about God and His Word, parenting, marriage, homemaking, organization and more. Feel free to link up multiple posts as long as they are family friendly. Remember this is a Christian site.

I hope you’ll take the time to visit someone else and get to know them and I would love it if you link back in some way and followed me on FaceBook, Twitter or Pinterest.





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Sign up now and receive a copy of “Prayer for Busy, Imperfect Pray-ers: 5 Strategies to Jumpstart Your Prayer Life.”


You can also SIGN UP FOR SPECIAL “CHRISTIAN LIVING” posts, including this series “Handing Emotions Biblically” and the LINKUP.

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Posts in the “Blended Families” Series


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“Handling Anger Biblically” Part 3 + LINKUP

 

Anger … it’s a common, almost universal struggle.

We get angry because we want to decide what’s right and what’s wrong for us! We want to control what goes on around us.

When we should be saying, “Lord, how do you want to use this in my life,” and trusting Him, we often allow our “feelings” to take over.

In the two previous posts, we’ve said emotions like anger, sorrow, guilt, depression, etc. are not sinful in and of themselves. It’s what we do with them that makes them sinful or not. And even righteous anger can quickly become sinful by our failure to deal with it biblically.

Anger is not just an emotion. It’s an issue of the heart (Matt. 15.18-20). And when we are angry our tendency, instead of taking responsibility for it, is to make excuses, minimize it, or blame other people or our circumstances.

We’ve touched on them in previous posts, but today, we’re going to talk about the two primary forms of anger and steps to overcoming it.

 

Welcome to Mondays @ Soul Survival.

 

Handling Anger Biblically – Part 3

 

We have just wrapped up a series on God’s design for marriage. If you missed it, you can access the lessons here. We’re in a new series “Handling Emotions Biblically.” Today’s post is the third of three on anger.

Over the next couple of months, we’ll also talk about:

Depression
Guilt
Fear & Worry
Trials & Suffering

I hope you’ll be here each week (post goes live at 5 PM MST on Sundays).

 

Two Forms of Anger

 

While there may be variations in the ways we express it, there are two primary forms of sinful anger. The first is “blowing up.”

 

Blowing Up

 

When we blow up, we frequently yell and scream and use cutting words.

“I hate you!”
“I wish I had never met you!”
“I don’t care what you do!”
A parent who says, “I wish you had never been born.”

Sometimes blowing up involves intimidation.

“You’re going to pay for this!”
“You’ll wish you had never met me!”

We may lose control physically by:

Pushing and Shoving.
Hitting and Punching.
Getting in someone’s Face.
Road Rage.
Murder.

 

Clamming Up

 

The second way we express sinful anger is by “clamming up.” We put up walls, withhold fellowship and affection, and refuse to deal with issues.

“I’ll just keep it to myself.”
“I’m not going to risk being hurt again.”

Clamming up frequently means giving others the silent treatment. And when the other person asks what’s wrong we say, “Nothing!”

We get focused on ourselves, how we’re suffering, how life is unfair. We play the martyr.

Or we decide we’ll just “get over it.” But it’s like throwing junk in a gunny sack. Eventually, the sack gets too full to carry and the person blows up!

Most of us vacillate between the two.

So, if we know we’re dealing with anger issues of either kind, how do we change?  Continue reading

“Handling Anger Biblically” Part 2 + LINKUP

 

Handling Anger Biblically - While it may take different forms, most of us have struggled with anger. Some of us turn our anger inward by clamming up or engaging in self-destructive behaviors. Some of us explode at the least provocation. No matter how we express it, anger can be extremely damaging. Today's post is part 2 of our discussion on "Handling Anger Biblically."While it may take different forms, most of us have struggled with anger. Some of us turn our anger inward by clamming up or engaging in self-destructive behaviors. Some of us explode at the least provocation. No matter how we express it, anger can be extremely damaging. Today’s post is part 2 of our discussion on “Handling Anger Biblically.”

 

Welcome to Mondays @ Soul Survival.

 

Handling Anger Biblically – Part 2

 

We have just wrapped up a series on God’s design for marriage. If you missed it, you can access the lessons here. We’re in a new series “Handling Emotions Biblically.” Last week we started talking about anger. Today we’ll discuss when and how anger becomes sinful and steps to overcoming sinful anger.

Over the next couple of months, we’ll also talk about:

Depression
Guilt
Fear & Worry
Trials & Suffering

I hope you’ll be here each week (post goes live at 5 PM MST on Sundays).

 

Last week we said that since God is the One who created us and everything else, all sinful anger flows out of our unwillingness to accept the fact that He is the Creator, and that He gets to make the rules.

presumptuous sinsWhen we get angry we’re really saying, “I don’t like the way You’re letting things work out in my life!”

We get angry because we want to decide what’s right and what’s wrong for us. We should be asking, “Lord, how do you want to use this in my life?” Instead, we allow the “feelings” to take over.

We also talked about the fact that emotions like anger, sorrow, guilt, depression … are not sinful in and of themselves, it’s what we do with those feelings that makes them sinful or not.

We discussed the different kinds of anger and said that anger is not just an emotion, but an issue of the heart (Matt. 15.18-20).

So, it’s not enough to just “control or manage anger.” The heart issues must be addressed if we want any lasting change and the kind of change that’s pleasing to God.

 

Different Expressions

 

We may express anger in different ways:

Sometimes we try to keep it under the radar. We say or do something mean … and then claim, “I was only kidding, can’t you take a joke?!” This kind of anger is deceitful and vengeful.

Prov. 10:23 says, “To do evil is like sport to a fool, but a man of understanding has wisdom.”

And Prov. 14:8 says, “The wisdom of the prudent is to understand his way, but the folly of fools is deceit.”

Sometimes anger is explosive. We may yell, slam doors, hit something or someone.

Sometimes we clam up, give others the silent treatment, or turn it in on ourselves.

No matter how it’s expressed, anger, when not dealt with in God-honoring ways, is destructive and sinful.

 

Why Anger?

 

Why would God give us an emotion that can be so damaging?  Continue reading

Handling Anger Biblically + LINKUP

 

Handling Anger Biblically - While it may take different forms, most of us have struggled with anger. Some of us turn our anger inward by clamming up or engaging in self-destructive behaviors. Some of us explode at the least provocation. Anger can be extremely destructive. It can cost us our jobs, our marriages, our families, our testimonies, even our health. Much has been written about anger and how to control it, but the Bible doesn't call us to control sinful anger. It calls us to something much deeper.While it may take different forms, most of us have struggled with anger. Some of us turn our anger inward by clamming up or engaging in self-destructive behaviors. Some of us explode at the least provocation. Anger can be extremely destructive. It can cost us our jobs, our marriages, our families, our testimonies, even our health.

Much has been written about anger and how to control it, but the Bible doesn’t call us to control sinful anger. It calls us to something much deeper.

Welcome to Mondays @ Soul Survival.

 

Handling Anger Biblically

 

We have just wrapped up a series on God’s design for marriage. If you missed it, you can access the lessons here. Now we’re in a series on “Handling Emotions Biblically.” Doing so helps bring peace and stability into our lives. Today and for the next two weeks we’ll be talking about “Handling Anger Biblically.”

Then over the following weeks, we’ll be discussing:
Depression
Guilt
Fear & Worry
Trials & Suffering

I hope you’ll be here each week (post goes live at 5 PM MST on Sundays).

 

Anger

 

While it may take different forms, most of us have struggled with anger at one time or another.

Some of us turn our anger inward. We may clam up and give others the silent treatment. We may turn to drugs or alcohol or some kind of self-harm.

We may simply stuff our feelings into an invisible gunny sack and refuse to deal with them. Until, one day the sack is bursting and it explodes on everyone around us.

Worse, we may be agitated, even boiling within, just waiting to explode.

Some of us react by exploding instantly for the least provocation. This kind of anger can be cruel, sarcastic, violent and vengeful.

 

Characterological Anger

 

Anger can become so much a part of someone’s life that he or she is known as an angry person. Proverbs has much to say about an angry man.

Make no friendship with an angry man,
And with a furious man do not go,
Lest you learn his ways
And set a snare for your soul (Prov. 22.24-25).

An angry man stirs up strife,
And a furious man abounds in transgression (Prov. 29.22).

 

Understanding Anger

 

To fully understand anger we need to start at the beginning. Genesis 1:1 says that God created the heavens and the earth. In verse 26 He said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness …”

And in verse 31, “God saw everything that He had made, and indeed it was very good.”

It sounds elementary, but God is the One who created us and everything else.

Sinful anger flows out of our unwillingness to accept the fact that He is the Creator, that He gets to make the rules, and that He is the Sovereign God of the Universe.

What we’re really saying is, “I don’t like the way You are letting things work out in my life!”

“Woe to the one who quarrels with his Maker—an earthenware vessel among the vessels of earth! Will the clay say to the potter, ‘What are you doing?” (Is. 45:9).

When we get angry, it’s because we want to decide what’s right and what’s wrong for us (Gen. 3.5).

Instead of seeking to understand how God wants to use the circumstances to conform us to His image, we allow the “feelings” to take over.

 

Not Always Sinful

 

Not all anger is sinful, at least not in its early stages. But if not dealt with biblically it can quickly escalate into sinful thoughts, words, and actions.  Continue reading

Marriage: Made in Heaven? Part 15 “Living with an Unbeliever” LINKUP

 

Marriage: Made in Heaven? Part 15 "Living with an Unbeliever" - Many believers find themselves married to unbelievers who have no interest in the things of God. While it can be challenging, God didn't leave us without instructions for such situations.Many believers find themselves married to unbelievers who have no interest in the things of God. While it can be challenging, God didn’t leave us without instructions for such situations.

 

Welcome to Mondays @ Soul Survival.

 

Marriage: Made in Heaven? Part 15 “Living with an Unbeliever”

 

We’re wrapping up a series on God’s design for marriage. If you haven’t read the previous posts in this series, you can read them here. In today’s post we’ll talk about living with an unbelieving spouse.

 

Marrying an Unbeliever

 

First, let me say that if you’re single and contemplating marriage, you are only free to marry “in the Lord.”

A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord (1 Cor. 7.39).

That phrase “in the Lord” means “in Christ” or “in the common faith.” While Paul is speaking, specifically, to women in this verse, the principle applies to men and women who are single, biblically divorced, or widowed and is addressed in 2 Corinthians, as well.

14 Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? 15 And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? 16 And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God (2 Cor. 6.14-16).

This is not a suggestion. It’s not Old Testament. It’s a command. Unfortunately, some people come to the Lord with the idea that His Word is just a nicer way to live, perhaps the ideal, but we’re still free to do it or not. That has never been the case.

We women are, particularly, prone to try to justify dating and marrying unbelievers:

“Well, he comes to church with me.”

“I think he’s close to getting saved.”

“How will he come to know the Lord if I break up with him?”

“He believes in God.”

“He’s OK with me going to church.”

“It’s not a problem for us.”

“He’s a Christian, but he doesn’t believe in going to church.”

Need I go on?

I’ve counseled many women who were dating or engaged to unbelievers. I have explained God’s clear commands and warned them of the natural consequences of choosing to disobey God (Gal. 6.7-8). Sadly, few listen once they are emotionally attached, especially, if they have further disobeyed God by becoming sexually involved.

Many have come back later and said, “I should have listened.” Because …  Continue reading

Marriage: Made in Heaven? Part 14 “Parenting as a Team” + LINKUP

 

Marriage: Made in Heaven? Part 14 "Parenting as a Team" - Many people consider parenting to be the mother's job and, even if they believe both parents need to be involved, mom often ends up with most of the responsibility. But parenting isn't a one-person job. God intends for moms and dads to parent as a team.Many people consider parenting to be the mother’s job and, even if they believe both parents need to be involved, mom often ends up with most of the responsibility. But parenting isn’t a one-person job. God intended for moms and dads to parent as a team.

Welcome to Mondays @ Soul Survival.

 

Marriage: Made in Heaven? Part 14 “Parenting as a Team”

 

We’re in a series on God’s design for marriage. If you haven’t read the previous posts in this series, you can read them here. In today’s post we’ll talk about how important parenting as a team is to our marriages and to our children.

Ephesians 6 says:

¹ Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”

And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

There is so much packed into those four short verses. More than I could ever address completely in a single post. So, if you’re a new believer, new to parenting, or have a desire to grow in this area, I have provided an extensive list of resources in another post, “Parenting from the Foot of the Cross.” I hope you’ll check it out.

But, for today, I want to focus on the team aspect of parenting.

Many people consider parenting largely the mother’s job and, even if they believe both parents need to be involved, mom often ends up with most of the responsibility. But notice, Paul addressed verse 4 directly to fathers.

Of course, he’s speaking to mothers, as well. But the father, as the head of the home, has the responsibility to see that children are brought up “in the training and admonition of the Lord” (Eph. 5.22-24; 6.4). He is the one who will ultimately answer to God (1 Tim. 3.4-5).

But parenting isn’t a one-person job. God intends for moms and dads to parent as a team.

I understand there are many godly single parents out there. Some are single, not by their own choice. Others came to Christ after becoming parents or are single for a variety of other reasons. But I think we would agree that God’s design has always been for children to be raised in a home with a mother and a father.  Continue reading

Marriage: Made in Heaven? Part 13 “Healthy Communication”+ LINKUP

 

Marriage: Made in Heaven? Part 13 "Healthy Communication" - "Communication is to a relationship what blood is to the human body. Communication nourishes and sustains a relationship. Remove it, and you no longer have a relationship." The Bible has much to say about the importance of healthy communication and the results of bad communication. James said the tongue can be "set on fire by hell." So, how can couples grow and become more intentional when it comes to healthy communication?“Communication is to a relationship what blood is to the human body. Communication nourishes and sustains a relationship. Remove it, and you no longer have a relationship.”

The Bible has much to say about the importance of healthy communication and the results of bad communication. James said the tongue can be “set on fire by hell.” So, how can couples grow and become more intentional when it comes to healthy communication?

 

Welcome to Mondays @ Soul Survival.

 

Marriage: Made in Heaven? Part 13 “Healthy Communication”

 

We’re in a series on God’s design for marriage. If you haven’t read the previous posts in this series, you can read them here. In today’s post we’ll talk about the importance of regular, healthy communication to a thriving marriage.

The authors of Family Life’s book Preparing for Marriage have this to say about communication:

Communication is to a relationship what blood is to the human body. Communication nourishes and sustains a relationship. Remove it, and you no longer have a relationship.

No wonder marriage counselors everywhere, constantly, hear the lament, “We just don’t communicate!” Even when there are other serious issues, lack of communication worsens them. Few people learn to communicate, solve problems and resolve conflict well, unless they are purposeful and determined to do so.

Even couples with great marriages will, often, tell you, they didn’t start out knowing how to communicate. Many will admit to years of struggle and heartache in this area. Couples who thought they could talk about anything during their dating time can find themselves hurt, angry, and frustrated as they move into the early years of marriage.

But sadly, if we don’t learn to communicate well, those feelings can grow and last for years. Those couples may resort to living separate lives or they may simply divorce.

 

Healthy Communication or Evil Communication

 

The Bible talks about all kinds of communication, not all of it healthy!

In the multitude of words sin is not lacking,
But he who restrains his lips is wise (Prov. 10.19).

An angry man stirs up strife,
And a furious man abounds in transgression (Prov. 29.22).

Whoever hides hatred has lying lips,
And whoever spreads slander is a fool (Prov. 10.18).

Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop,
Than in a house shared with a contentious woman (Prov. 21.9).

James said this in chapter 3 of his epistle:

For we all stumble in many things. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body. Indeed, we put bits in horses’ mouths that they may obey us, and we turn their whole body. Look also at ships: although they are so large and are driven by fierce winds, they are turned by a very small rudder wherever the pilot desires. Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things.

See how great a forest a little fire kindles! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell.

So while communication is vital, it’s important how we communicate. We can allow our tongues to be used for good or for evil. How many marriages have been burned to the ground by tongues loaded with the fire of hell?!  Continue reading