“21 Premarital Red Flags” August 30


21 Premarital Red Flags - God's wisdom can help us avoid numerous problems, but ignoring it can lead to all kinds of trouble and heartache in every area of life. And when it comes to the decision of whether or not to marry, God's Word provides an abundance of wisdom and cautions that can save you from years of heartache. Ignore it at your own peril. God’s wisdom can help us avoid many problems, but ignoring it can lead to all kinds of trouble and heartache in every area of life. And when it comes to the decision of whether or not to marry someone, God’s Word provides an abundance of wisdom and cautions that can save you from years of heartache. Ignore it at your own peril.

Also read about one secret to contentment, the danger of delayed justice, and some important questions to consider before exercising our “freedoms” in Christ.


Today’s Readings:
Ecclesiastes 8-10
Psalm 103.6-14
Proverbs 24.10-12
1 Corinthians 10.19-33


Premarital Red Flags


Ecclesiastes 8-10:

Delayed Justice


“Because the sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil” (8.11).

And we wonder why our criminal justice system doesn’t work?

It’s not that we shouldn’t take the time to allow for a thorough investigation and give an accused person a chance to defend him or herself, but when cases drag on for years and sentences are not carried out in a reasonable amount of time, punishment is much less of a deterrent.


Eat, Drink & Be Merry


“So I commended enjoyment, because a man has nothing better under the sun than to eat, drink, and be merry; for this will remain with him in his labor all the days of his life which God gives him under the sun” (8.15).

couple eating pizza joy contentmentThis is not about living a party lifestyle, doing whatever we please, but about enjoying life’s simple pleasures within the framework of God’s will. The sad fact is that just like Adam and Eve, we constantly feel we must go outside the guidelines God has given to find the pleasure we think we “deserve.” God gave them the whole garden to enjoy and they settled for a lousy tree!

“Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all your days of vanity; for that is your portion in life, and in the labor which you perform under the sun” (9.9).

God gives us all the benefits of marriage to enjoy and we will settle for some other guy or some other woman who we think “understands us” or builds up our ego—forgetting the spouses they are willing to neglect while they commit adultery with us! We will destroy two families, our testimony, and our relationship with God to have what we think we want, and realize too late it doesn’t deliver.


Premarital Red Flags that Can Keep You from Years of Heartache


13 This wisdom I have also seen under the sun, and it seemed great to me: 14 There was a little city with few men in it; and a great king came against it, besieged it, and built great snares around it. 15 Now there was found in it a poor wise man, and he by his wisdom delivered the city. Yet no one remembered that same poor man.

16 Then I said:

“Wisdom is better than strength.
Nevertheless the poor man’s wisdom is despised,
And his words are not heard (9.13-16).

Solomon reminds us that “Wisdom is better than strength,” though he admits it may not always be appreciated in this life.

Even God’s principles, the greatest wisdom, are often rejected as too hard, too inconvenient or too restrictive. But when the consequences of living life their own way sets in, people come looking for help just as the men of this small city came looking for this wise man.

One area where I see this played out is with premarital couples. At our church we require couples to take a “Preparing for Marriage” class before they can be married by one of our pastors. It is followed by an interview with the couple leading the class. When there are red flags concerning marriage, they may counsel them personally or refer one or both of them to one of our other counselors.  Continue reading

Relationship Issues: “Help! My Husband Won’t Lead!”


Relationship Issues: Help! My husband won't lead!Welcome to Soul Survival where I blog through the Bible and on all kinds of other subjects related to living the Christian life. My “day job” is counseling. I’m an ACBC certified counselor. I meet with couples, families and individuals to help them find God’s answers for the issues and struggles they face.

Besides meeting with people formally, I’m frequently asked questions at church or by email. I’ll be answering some of those questions here on the blog. If you have a question you’d like to see answered you can submit it here.



From Sue:

I’m a new Christian and I’ve been attending a Bible study about being a godly wife. I realize I haven’t been the kind of wife I should. I know my husband is supposed to be the leader of our family. I have talked to him about it, but he doesn’t seem interested in being more involved. How can I get my husband to lead our family? Continue reading

Got counseling questions?

Is there a question you have wanted to ask? Perhaps it’s about a relationship or some decision you need to make. Maybe you want clarification about a Bible principle or some passage of Scripture.

Got counseling questions?

Maybe you didn’t know who to ask or maybe you were too embarrassed. “Ask the Counselors” is a safe place to ask questions and receive biblically based answers. We are trained in biblical counseling and have many years of experience counseling couples and individuals.

Depending on the subject matter, we’ll answer your questions here on the website (with your permission and with first name only or first initial if you prefer) or by email. Click here to ask your question.

Most importantly, our answers are based on the Bible, God’s inerrant, sufficient Word.

16 All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, 17 that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work. (2 Tim. 3.16-17)

Got counseling questions?

2 Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord, 3 as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, 4 by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust. (2 Pet. 1.2-4)

Answers are provided based on the information provided and some subjects may be too complicated to answer fully in this format.

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