God’s wisdom can help us avoid many problems, but ignoring it can lead to all kinds of trouble and heartache in every area of life. And when it comes to the decision of whether or not to marry someone, God’s Word provides an abundance of wisdom and cautions that can save you from years of heartache. Ignore it at your own peril.
Also read about one secret to contentment, the danger of delayed justice, and some important questions to consider before exercising our “freedoms” in Christ.
1 Corinthians 10.19-33
Premarital Red Flags
“Because the sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil” (8.11).
And we wonder why our criminal justice system doesn’t work?
It’s not that we shouldn’t take the time to allow for a thorough investigation and give an accused person a chance to defend him or herself, but when cases drag on for years and sentences are not carried out in a reasonable amount of time, punishment is much less of a deterrent.
Eat, Drink & Be Merry
“So I commended enjoyment, because a man has nothing better under the sun than to eat, drink, and be merry; for this will remain with him in his labor all the days of his life which God gives him under the sun” (8.15).
This is not about living a party lifestyle, doing whatever we please, but about enjoying life’s simple pleasures within the framework of God’s will. The sad fact is that just like Adam and Eve, we constantly feel we must go outside the guidelines God has given to find the pleasure we think we “deserve.” God gave them the whole garden to enjoy and they settled for a lousy tree!
“Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all your days of vanity; for that is your portion in life, and in the labor which you perform under the sun” (9.9).
God gives us all the benefits of marriage to enjoy and we will settle for some other guy or some other woman who we think “understands us” or builds up our ego—forgetting the spouses they are willing to neglect while they commit adultery with us! We will destroy two families, our testimony, and our relationship with God to have what we think we want, and realize too late it doesn’t deliver.
Premarital Red Flags that Can Keep You from Years of Heartache
13 This wisdom I have also seen under the sun, and it seemed great to me: 14 There was a little city with few men in it; and a great king came against it, besieged it, and built great snares around it. 15 Now there was found in it a poor wise man, and he by his wisdom delivered the city. Yet no one remembered that same poor man.
16 Then I said:
“Wisdom is better than strength.
Nevertheless the poor man’s wisdom is despised,
And his words are not heard (9.13-16).
Solomon reminds us that “Wisdom is better than strength,” though he admits it may not always be appreciated in this life.
Even God’s principles, the greatest wisdom, are often rejected as too hard, too inconvenient or too restrictive. But when the consequences of living life their own way sets in, people come looking for help just as the men of this small city came looking for this wise man.
One area where I see this played out is with premarital couples. At our church we require couples to take a “Preparing for Marriage” class before they can be married by one of our pastors. It is followed by an interview with the couple leading the class. When there are red flags concerning marriage, they may counsel them personally or refer one or both of them to one of our other counselors. Continue reading