Marriage is hard. It takes work. It takes staying committed in a world that says, “If I’m not happy, I’m outta here.”

Yet, none of us marries with the idea that it won’t last. We get married thinking our relationship will be different. We’re in love and plan to live happily ever after. That lasts about a week-and-a-half.

Instead, marriage is like God’s sandpaper. It exposes our basic selfishness and all our rough edges. But if we let God teach us where we need to grow and change … if we learn to forgive … if we learn what it means to give grace to one another … if we stay committed through the good times and the bad, marriage can be one of God’s greatest gifts.

 

35 Lessons I’ve Learned in 35 Years of Marriage

 

Here are some of the lessons my husband and I have learned along the way, by God’s grace:

1. Feelings come and go. Commitment is what keeps you going.
2. It’s not always your spouse’s fault.
3. You’re not always right.
4. Kindness always matters.
5. Be quick to seek forgiveness for your part, even if you think your spouse is 95% to blame.
6. Say “thank you” often.
7. Let your spouse know if you’ll be late.
8. Be generous with praise and stingy with criticism.
9. Admit when you’re wrong.
10. Learn to say, “I’m sorry.”
11. Love believes the best. Give the other person the benefit of the doubt.
12. Love chooses to be patient when tempted to be impatient.
13. Forgive from the heart, even before your spouse asks.
14. Your spouse is NOT a mind reader. Get over it.
15. Be a giver, not a taker. It pays much greater dividends.
16. Listen. Really listen.
17. A soft answer turns away wrath.
18. Put the other person’s interests ahead of your own.
19. Don’t compare your spouse to someone else’s.
20. Being right isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
21. Your spouse won’t always understand how you feel.
22. Sometimes you’ll disagree. Don’t be disagreeable about it.
23. Don’t give the silent treatment.
24. Ask God to put a guard on your mouth.
25. Never threaten divorce. It can take on a life of its own.
26. Learn to speak the truth in love.
27. Attack the problem, not the other person.
28. Say “I love you” often.
29. One of you will usually be late.
30. Don’t withhold affection or sex.
31. Don’t be demanding about affection or sex.
32. You don’t have to have the last word. Don’t try.
33. Pray. Pray for each other. Pray together.
34. Read the Bible together and alone if the other person won’t.
35. Do things God’s way. He invented marriage.

If you’re married, what lessons have you learned?

 

 

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Blessings,
Donna

 

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