Do you ever find yourself arguing for argument’s sake? Do you feel like it’s your job to point out the other side of the issue or like you have to have the last word? If so, could you be a contentious woman, at least at times? And if you see this tendency, what can you do to become more Christlike?

Today’s Readings:

2 Chronicles 30 & 31
Psalm 85.1-7
Proverbs 21.9-11
Acts 20.1-16

Could You Be a Contentious Woman?

Proverbs 21.9-11:

If the Shoe Fits

Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, than in a house shared with a contentious woman (v. 9).

My thesaurus uses the following synonyms for contentious: controversial, debatable, arguable, touchy. The Encarta Dictionary defines her as, “frequently engaging in and seeming to enjoy arguments and disputes.”

Ladies, we need to ask ourselves if any of those characteristics describe us? Or could we answer “yes” to any of the questions in the introduction?

It’s important to understand that a contentious woman is the opposite of the woman described in 1 Peter 3:

³ Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— ⁴ but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.

She’s the opposite of the Proverbs 31 woman who:

²⁶ She opens her mouth with wisdom,
    and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

²⁸ Her children rise up and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women have done excellently,
    but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Because of our sin nature, there is probably at least a little bit of the contentious woman in all of us. Perhaps we should ask for God’s help to see how and where contentiousness shows up in our lives. A good prayer might be David’s prayer in Psalm 139:23-24:

The Opposite of a Contentious Woman

But it’s not enough to simply see that we do have some contentious attitudes. We also need to seek God’s help to grow in those areas.

Ephesians 4.22-24 gives us a process for changing and growing in all areas of life, not in an attempt to gain God’s favor but out of our love for Him and gratitude for all He has done.

²² that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, ²³ and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, ²⁴ and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness (NKJV).

And verse 29 of the same chapter says:

Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers (NKJV).

We are to put off speech that is corrupt or another translation says unwholesome. That would include speech that is critical, sarcastic, angry, and nagging. In its place, we are to put on speech that edifies or builds up. Speech that is constructive.

And our speech is to be full of the same grace that God has given us. This doesn’t mean that we are to flatter others or never say anything difficult to hear. Remember when God gives us His grace, He gives us what we need. He doesn’t always give us what we want but neither does He give us what we deserve. So, even when we have to say something challenging, we need to say it respectfully and lovingly.

Pride & Selfishness

Of course, there are many other passages that can help us grow in this area. Let’s look at one more:

³ Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. ⁴ Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others (Phil. 2.3-4, NKJV).

Much of our contention is rooted in selfishness and pride. We nag because we have our agenda and other people are failing to get with our program. In our pride, we think we know what’s best and can even deceive ourselves into thinking we’re just pushing them to do what they should. And maybe in some cases, we’re right. But when we try to communicate that in unloving, bitter, or angry ways, we undo any good we might have done.

Instead, we’re to cultivate humility (lowliness of mind) by remembering the Gospel and that any righteousness we have comes from Christ. We’re to remember that only God is all-knowing. He alone knows what is best.

And rather than esteeming self, we’re to esteem God and others (Lk. 9.23-24).

So, let’s ask God to search our hearts (Ps. 139.23-24) and, with God’s help, root out selfishness, pride, and contention wherever we find it. And let’s look for ways to put on kindness, humility, and love for others. Let’s be faithful to grow in Christlikeness and trust God to do in those around us what only He can do.

Today’s Other Readings:

2 Chronicles 30 & 31:

Singleness of Heart

One of Judah’s most wicked kings has died, a man who sacrificed his own children to false gods. Now his son Hezekiah has become king. 2 Chronicles 29 shows us a picture of a man who loved and feared God. He cleaned out and repaired the temple, called the priests back to service, and restored temple worship.

Here in these two chapters, Hezekiah calls the people to repentance and worship. He sends runners throughout the land even to the Northern Kingdom to extend the invitation. Although most of the people in the Northern Kingdom “laughed at them and mocked them,” the people of Judah came together with “singleness of heart.” What followed was a great revival with the people giving in abundance to support the priests and Levites and the operation of the temple. And when they did, God blessed them abundantly.

Psalm 85.1-7:

Forgiving As God Forgives

You have forgiven the iniquity of Your people; You have covered all their sin. Selah. You have taken away all Your wrath. You have turned from the fierceness of Your anger (vv. 2-3).

When God forgives and covers sin, He ceases to be angry about it. We are told in Ephesians 4.32 to “forgive just as God in Christ also has forgiven us.” If we truly forgive we choose to cease being angry, too. It may take time for our feelings to completely come in line, but we can choose to treat that person with God’s love as we rely on His grace.

Acts 20.1-16:

How About a 12-Hour Sunday Service?

Now on the first day of the week, when the disciples came together to break bread, Paul, ready to depart the next day, spoke to them and continued his message until midnight (v. 7).

Can you imagine being in church until midnight? Some of us are looking at our watches when the service goes over an hour! And some of us don’t even get there until after the praise and worship. (We’re missing a great opportunity to minister back to the Lord, by the way!)

Maybe we need to ask God to give us more of a hunger for His Word and a greater desire to hear it preached.

Questions to Ponder or Journal:

Are you willing to examine your life, especially your speech, in light of Proverbs 21.9? If you’re married, do you need to ask your husband how you’re doing in this area? (This may call for an extra measure of courage!)

Is there anyone you need to forgive as God forgives?

Coming Up:

In the coming days, we’ll talk about 10 secrets to finishing well, loving your enemies, and ask the question, “Could you be left behind?” We will also talk about what it means to fear God in our anti-Christian culture.

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And if you don’t already have a copy, you might want to purchase a copy of my eBook, 10 Benefits of Keeping a Spiritual Journal. It’s available on Kindle through Amazon.

Blessings as you grow in Christ,
Donna ♥

Note about this post:

I began blogging through the Bible in 2012 and have done so every year since then. These posts are the product of many edits and additions throughout those years. Some days I make major changes, other days fewer. 

A while ago, I read Jen Wilkin’s book None Like Him about the attributes of God. One is His incomprehensibility. In it, she says, “God is incomprehensible. This does not mean that he is unknowable, but that he is unable to be fully known.”

I have found that to be true each year as I’ve gone back through the Bible. Sometimes I find myself feeling as if a passage just appeared there for the first time. I’m reminded that no matter how many times we read through the Bible, we have only scratched the surface. I hope you feel the same.

Indeed these are the mere edges of His ways,
And how small a whisper we hear of Him!
But the thunder of His power who can understand?” (Job 26.14)

I sometimes LINKUP with these blogs.