Would you be willing to admonish, rebuke, or warn a friend who is caught up in a sinful lifestyle even though speaking up when God’s standards are at stake is more costly than ever? When is it right, even necessary, for a believer in Christ to do so?

Also, when it comes to our politics, how should a clear understanding of God’s sovereignty and His commands concerning authority, affect how we speak and respond to events in today’s political climate?

Today’s Readings:

Job 23-25
Psalm 96.7-12
Proverbs 23.9
Romans 15.1-24

When to Admonish, Rebuke, or Warn a Friend

Romans 15.1-24:

For Our Benefit

First, let’s look at verse 4 before we talk about our main focus:

For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope (v. 4).

The Scriptures, in particular the Old Testament, were written so that we might grow and learn by the examples of others, good and bad. God patiently instructs us on how we should change and shows us the results of unbiblical living. And as we grow and come to understand God’s love and grace, we find comfort in His faithfulness to those who remained devoted to Him.

Admonishing When Needed

Now let’s look at verse 14:

Now I myself am confident concerning you, my brethren, that you also are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge, able also to admonish one another.

Notice this verse was not written to pastors or counselors or spiritual leaders. It was written to the believers at Rome and by extension to us as believers. Paul says all of us are “able to admonish one another.” The word translated admonish means, “to exhort, admonish, and instruct.” Admonish means, “to rebuke or to advise or warn someone to do, or not do, something.”

So God expects us to be willing to get our hands dirty, to risk what people may think of us, even rejection, to speak the truth in love to those who are sinning, as well as, those who need encouragement.

It may help to think of it this way. If we saw someone, even a stranger, who was about to drive over a cliff, we would do whatever we could to stop that person. Most of us have friends, relatives, and co-workers who are going over a cliff spiritually, relationally, and in other ways. Yet, we tell ourselves we shouldn’t get involved. Or we comfort ourselves by saying we have no right to judge.

The problem is that the command not to judge has to do with a self-righteous attitude. It concerns those who think they can judge another’s heart or who have a critical attitude and who constantly find fault. It does not mean we are never to judge behavior. As Paul told the Galatians:

Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ (Gal. 6.1-2).

Gently & Tentatively

Notice that while we are to be willing to confront others when they are at risk, we must do so lovingly, gently, humbly, and tentatively (especially if we’re not sure of the circumstances; Gal. 6.1; Matt. 7.3-5).

This is a responsibility that God has given us as part of the body of Christ. Proverbs 27.5-6 says:

5 Open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed.
6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.

It Starts with Loving One-on-One Confrontation

Jesus Himself gave one of the most direct passages on this subject in Matthew 18:

¹⁵ Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. ¹⁶ But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’¹⁷ And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.

¹⁸ Assuredly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

¹⁹ Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven.²⁰ For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.

This is sometimes called the church discipline process but notice that it starts with loving one-on-one confrontation. Much of the time, it need never go past this step. Notice, too, that the goal is not to embarrass or hurt someone but to win your brother (or sister). That is to help them grow, come back into right standing with God, or get free from a pattern of sin (“overtaken in any trespass” Gal. 6.1). And we can see from verses 18-20 that God is involved in and committed to this process.

James 5.19-20 says:

¹⁹ Brethren, if anyone among you wanders from the truth, and someone turns him back, ²⁰ let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save a soul from death and cover a multitude of sins.

So, when is it necessary to admonish, rebuke, or warn a fellow believer? The website GotQuestions has one of the best lists I have found.

When to Admonish, Rebuke or Warn a Fellow Believer?

A simple checklist can help individuals know when it may be necessary to rebuke a sinning Christian. We should never be hasty or rash in a rebuke. We should evaluate each situation carefully and prayerfully and ask ourselves these questions:

1. Is my life free from similar sin? (Romans 2:1)

2. Do I have a relationship with this person that allows me to speak into his life? (Galatians 6:2)

3. Is my motive that of restoration rather than condemnation? (Galatians 6:1)

4. Would I be willing to have someone rebuke me in the same way? (Matthew 7:12)

5. Do I understand Scripture well enough to know how and why this person is violating it? (2 Timothy 2:15)

6. Am I prepared to go to my pastor or elders on this person’s behalf if he refuses to listen to me?

7. Am I willing to commit to praying for this person’s healing and restoration before and after I confront him? (Matthew 26:41)

8. Is this offense truly a sin or simply an act of immaturity or preference? (Ephesians 4:2)

9. Am I acting in love? (1 Corinthians 13:1)

And before we leave this subject, let’s see how our Proverbs reading can add a little more to our understanding.

Proverbs 23.9:

Fools Despise Wisdom

Today’s verse says, “Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, for he will despise the wisdom of your words.” Jesus said it this way, don’t “cast your pearls before swine” (Matt. 7.6).

On occasion, I have someone ask me to call a friend or loved one who needs counseling or who is heading down the wrong path. When I ask a few questions to find out why the other person hasn’t contacted me herself, I sometimes hear, “She says she doesn’t want to come because she knows what you’re going to say and she doesn’t want to hear it.”

Depending on the circumstances, I may or may not believe it’s appropriate for me to contact her. Some things I might consider are: Is she someone with whom I have some kind of relationship? Is she a member of our church body? Is she a believer? And, of course, the seriousness of the issue.

There are times when we’re commanded in Scripture to go to someone as I talked about above and that means being prepared to see the issue through. But there are other times when we seek to help others, especially unbelievers, and they reject God’s truth. It is often a waste of time to continue talking to them. Sometimes a fool only understands consequences (Prov. 26.3). We may have to let the consequences run their course before they see their need for change.

In the meantime, we can pray for them in a spirit of 2 Timothy 2.23-26 and stand ready to be a friend if and when they come to the end of themselves and want to change.

Today’s Other Readings:

Job 23-25:

Understanding and Comfort from a Book like Job

As we continue to read through God’s Word, especially the Book of Job, it’s tempting to grow tired or get confused by all that is happening. As we read of Job’s sufferings, his friends’ lack of mercy and grace, and God’s silence so far, we should ask ourselves some questions:

How will coming to understand this better help me be more patient in my sufferings and disappointments? How can I learn to trust God more? What can I learn from listening to Job’s “comforters“? What can I learn from Job about responding to unjust criticism?

Often when we fail to grow in our understanding of Scripture it’s because we fail to ask the right questions.

I Shall Come Forth as Gold!

Before we leave chapter 23, here is one of my favorite nuggets of truth:

When He works on the left hand, I cannot behold Him; when He turns to the right hand, I cannot see Him. But He knows the way that I take; when He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold (vv. 9-10).

What a great statement of faith after all Job had been through! We may not be able to “see” what God is doing “on the right hand” of our lives. We may not understand why he is allowing something else “on the left.” But if we understand the goodness of God, the trustworthiness of God, and the faithfulness of God, we can know that if we will stay focused on Him, we, too, though tested and refined, will come forth as gold!

You can read more about this subject in two of my older posts:

Tests & Trials: “The Divine Squeeze”

Tests & Trials: “Coming Forth as Gold”

Psalm 96.7-12:

Voting & Our Current Leadership

Say among the nations, “The LORD reigns; the world also is firmly established, it shall not be moved; He shall judge the peoples righteously” (v. 10).

Though this is referring to the millennial kingdom where Jesus Christ will rule with perfect judgment and righteousness, we can have a measure of this on earth today.

Proverbs 29.2 says:

When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; but when a wicked man rules, the people groan.

When our elections roll around, we need to remember this verse. Righteousness is more important than intelligence or political party or anything else, for when the righteous are in authority, “the people rejoice.”

The righteousness spoken of here is not our idea of what’s right or what seems expedient for us. It’s not about what religious label a person claims. It is about what a person says and does about God’s righteous standards.

Too many people today “vote their pocketbook”—with a selfish “what will be best for me” attitude. As believers, we need to care about what God cares about. What does it say about our opinion of God and his Word if we vote for a person who supports the murder of innocent children in the womb or other ungodly behaviors?

We can’t complain about the moral and spiritual condition of our country and then continue to vote for men and women who refuse to acknowledge God as God. Saying he or she believes in God is not the same as acknowledging Him as God. To acknowledge Him as God means making decisions based on His standards.

After Elections

I didn’t comment on this a couple of days ago in the first part of Romans 13. But if God is sovereign (and He is!), once an election is over we need to accept the results and begin to pray for those He has placed in authority. God works through whomever He desires, whether we like that person or not. We are bucking God when we disrespect those He has placed in authority.

For exaltation comes neither from the east
Nor from the west nor from the south.
But God is the Judge:
He puts down one,
And exalts another (Ps. 75.6-7).

Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God. Therefore whoever resists the authority resists the ordinance of God, and those who resist will bring judgment on themselves (Rom. 13.1-2).

That’s a strong passage, one I try to remember when I’m disappointed, even outraged, by the behavior of our leaders. It can be a struggle, but I know I need to respect and obey God even when it doesn’t make sense to me. And I need to ask myself if I am obeying 1 Timothy 2.1-2:

Therefore I exhort first of all that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks be made for all men, for kings and all who are in authority, that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and reverence.

If not, I have even less right to complain. I’m part of the problem not part of the solution. Because the solution always rests with God.

What Do You Think?

Have you ever had to admonish someone you care about? Is even loving confrontation challenging for you?

What are your concerns about today’s political climate? As Christians, how do you think we can be an influence for good?

Coming Up:

In the coming days, we’ll talk about whether spanking is outdated, seven ways to avoid a roller coaster of emotions, habits that rob us of God’s blessings, and ask the question, “If you died tonight, do you know for sure where you would spend eternity?”

I hope you’ll sign up so you don’t miss any of them. You might also like to check out our YouTube channel.

If this post spoke to you, I would love it if you would share it on your favorite social media platform.

And if you don’t already have a copy, you might want to purchase a copy of my eBook, 10 Benefits of Keeping a Spiritual Journal. It’s available on Kindle or in paperback (the paperback has 31 days of blank journaling pages with prompts to help you get started).

Blessings as you grow in Christ,
Donna ♥

Note about this post:

I began blogging through the Bible in 2012 and have done so every year since then. These posts are the product of many edits and additions throughout those years. Some days I make major changes, other days fewer. 

A while ago, I read Jen Wilkin’s book None Like Him about the attributes of God. One is His incomprehensibility. In it, she says, “God is incomprehensible. This does not mean that he is unknowable, but that he is unable to be fully known.”

I have found that to be true each year as I’ve gone back through the Bible. Sometimes I find myself feeling as if a passage just appeared there for the first time. I’m reminded that no matter how many times we read through the Bible, we have only scratched the surface. I hope you feel the same.

Indeed these are the mere edges of His ways,
And how small a whisper we hear of Him!
But the thunder of His power who can understand?” (Job 26.14)

I sometimes LINKUP with these blogs.