Angry children—we see them in the grocery store, in the schoolyard, on the news, and possibly in our own homes. While all of us, including our children, are responsible for our choices, as parents we are warned not to provoke our children to anger. Could we be doing that without even realizing it?

Today, we’ll, also, look at the armor of God, what it is, and how we put it on. It’s not as mysterious or mystical as it might seem.

Today’s Readings:

Isaiah 61.1-62.12
Psalm 115.9-13
Proverbs 26.24-26
Ephesians 6.1-24

Angry Children, Hypocrisy & the Armor of God

Ephesians 6.1-24:

Parent-Child Relationships & Angry Children

Over the last few days, we have been talking about Paul’s description of a Spirit-controlled life in Ephesians 4 and 5. If you missed the earlier posts, you can read them here, here, and here. In this chapter, Paul addresses the parent-child relationship.

Verses 1-3 tell us that children should honor and obey their parents. And verse 4 says that parents should raise their children “in the discipline and admonition of the Lord” and not treat them in ways that would provoke them to anger. Yet, it’s easy to see there are angry children everywhere, even in Christian homes.

Provocative Parents & Angry Children

As I said, even children are responsible for their behavior but, as parents, we are accountable to God if we’re stumbling blocks to them by provoking them to anger.

In one of my older posts, I listed 25 ways we provoke our children to anger. The list came from a book by Lou Priolo, The Heart of Anger. Some of the ways on the list are marital disharmony, having a child-centered home, being inconsistent with discipline, hypocrisy, and parental role reversal. Every one of them is explained in detail. You can read the rest of the list and the full post here.

A Closer Look at Two of Those Ways

This section of Ephesians speaks directly to two items on Lou Priolo’s list. The first is the opposite of everything we’ve been talking about in the last three posts. That is, instead of living a Spirit-controlled life, we are being hypocritical—attempting to teach our children to act one way while we act another. For example:

It’s hypocritical to discipline our children for lying and then “call in sick” because we don’t want to go to work. Or to get angry at them for not being honest about where they’re going and then lie or withhold information from our spouses.

We can’t teach our children not to steal and then pilfer from our employer.

We shouldn’t preach respect for authority while we disdainfully talk about “the cops” or what we can get away with. Or when we as wives disrespect our husbands and disregard their instructions.

We can’t discipline them in anger or chastise them for inconveniencing us while we tell them to be loving to their siblings.

There are many other ways but one of the biggest is lecturing them about drugs and alcohol while we abuse substances ourselves. Or a more subtle form is laughing with our friends about youthful partying and what we got away with while we warn them about the dangers.

And make no mistake children have a built-in hypocrite meter. It doesn’t take long before they see it for what it is. And many of them become angry children when they do.

Parental Role Reversal & Angry Children

In yesterday’s reading from Ephesians 5, Paul said:

²² Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. ²⁴ Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.

And in verses 31-33:

^{31 ‘}For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ ³² This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. ³³ Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

As wives, we are to submit to the leadership of our husbands (v. 22) and show them respect (v.33). And husbands are to love their wives with the same kind of servant love with which Christ loves His church (v. 25),

Submission is a concept that is often misunderstood and certainly not popular in today’s world. But lack of submission is nothing new. It’s part of the curse of sin as is the failure of husbands to love and lead biblically.

In Genesis 3:16 where God told Adam and Eve about the result of their disobedience, He said to the woman, “You will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.” (NLT).

As wives, our sinful desire is to usurp our husband’s leadership and theirs is to rule over us harshly or to withdraw and refuse to lead at all.

When this happens, it creates all kinds of problems in the marriage. One of those problems can be angry children.

Breaking God’s Design & Angry Children

God’s command to submit has nothing to do with our worth as women, nothing to do with intelligence or ability. It is about God’s design. Look at verse 32 again, “This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.” The design has been in existence since eternity past. It’s the same design as He has for the church. The design in the Trinity. 

In the Trinity, Jesus submitted to the Father (Matt. 26.39; Jn. 8.28), and the Holy Spirit proceeds from and glorifies the Father and the Son (Jn. 16.7, 14). In the church, the church is to submit to Christ and the congregation is to submit to and respect her leaders and Christ. In the family, the wife is to submit to the husband. The children proceed from the mother and father and are to show them honor and respect. It’s God’s design.

None of us will do this perfectly but when it’s working the way God designed, it leads to harmony in the home. Children learn to love and respect by seeing it lived out in their parents’ lives. But when their parents refuse to obey God, especially when the roles are reversed, it can provoke children to anger.

Satan, as the ruler of this world and the enemy of God, hates God’s design. In the garden, he deceived Eve into acting independently, ignoring both her husband’s leadership and God’s authority. It should come as no surprise that he continues to attack God’s social institutions of marriage and the church. And when we allow that to happen in our families, we often end up with frustrated, angry children.

But submission and the Spirit-controlled life don’t end with the home. Let’s take a look at the workplace.

A Disclaimer:

I do want to add one more thought to all this. We could do everything right, if that were possible, and our children could still be angry and rebellious because we live in a fallen world. Our children are making choices, too. That’s not to say that we should just give up. We are responsible to do our part and to trust God with the results.

The Spirit’s Control in the Workplace & Society

Our relationship with God should, also, affect our employer-employee relationships. If we work for someone else, we should be good, faithful employees. We should work hard, not just when the boss is looking, but all the time out of a desire to please God, who sees everything (Eph. 6.5-8). Bosses should treat their employees and subordinates well, again out of a desire to please God (Eph. 6.9).

Romans 13 teaches us that we are to obey civil and other types of authority, as well. The exception would be if any authority within the family or any place else commands us to break God’s law. In those cases, we must respectfully refuse.

The Armor of God

Then in verses 10-17, we have the “armor of God” with which all believers should be equipped. Roman soldiers wore leather belts to keep their tunics from hindering movement in battle. We need to wear the “belt of truth” by getting rid of anything in our lives that will hinder us.  Unforgiveness, bitterness, jealousy, and the like have no place in a believer’s life and will hinder our walks and spiritual growth. We must fight to replace them with God’s truth.

Next is “the breastplate of righteousness.” Christ’s righteousness is given to us at the time of salvation but we need to walk in that righteousness by walking in grace-powered obedience.

We need to have “our feet shod with the gospel of peace.” The Roman soldier’s boots had nails to grip the ground. Knowing that we have peace with God keeps us gripped and grounded.

God’s Word is our “shield of faith.” Obedience to the Word and a good understanding of biblical doctrine, including the character of God, will protect us from the fiery darts of the wicked.

For the believer, “the helmet of salvation” is our assurance of salvation. We’re to rest in His finished work not our own ability to do good works or keep ourselves saved.

Finally, we need to have that sharp two-edged “sword of the Spirit” which is the Word of God. We need to read it, study it, memorize it, and meditate on it so we can use it against the world, temptation, and Satan’s lies.

Praying Always

Then we need to pray for one another, 6.18-20:

18 praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints— 19 and for me, that utterance may be given to me, that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.

Only then will we be well-dressed for the battles we face in this life.

Today’s Other Readings:

Isaiah 61 & 62:

The Fulfilling of Scripture

Jesus quoted chapter 61 in Luke 4:

16 So He came to Nazareth, where He had been brought up. And as His custom was, He went into the synagogue on the Sabbath day, and stood up to read. 17 And He was handed the book of the prophet Isaiah. And when He had opened the book, He found the place where it was written.

18 ‘The Spirit of the LORD is upon Me,
Because He has anointed Me
To preach the gospel to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives
And recovery of sight to the blind,
To set at liberty those who are oppressed;
19 To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD.’

20 Then He closed the book, and gave it back to the attendant and sat down. And the eyes of all who were in the synagogue were fixed on Him. 21 And He began to say to them, ‘Today this Scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.’

This was not a case of Jesus simply knowing what the prophet had said about Him. This was a case of God having caused the prophet to speak what God had already ordained since the beginning of time. What an awesome God we serve!

Psalm 115.9-13:

He Cares

He will bless those who fear the LORD, Both small and great (v. 13).

Though we may seem “small” in the world’s eyes, we are our Father’s own and God takes care of those who are His!

Proverbs 26.24-26:

He Knows

He who hates, disguises it with his lips … Though his hatred is covered by deceit, his wickedness will be revealed before the assembly (vv. 24, 26).

God is the true “heart-knower.” No matter how much we try to disguise our motives and intentions to others, we cannot hide the truth from God.

Your Thoughts:

How has God spoken to you today? Maybe you have angry children at home and found some answers and hope. Perhaps you saw a passage in a new light or an area where you need to grow and change. Did you find a promise to hold on to? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Coming Up:

In the next few days, we’ll talk about jellyfish, pain, heartache, how we grow in holiness, and more.

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If this post spoke to you, I would love it if you would share it on your favorite social media platform.

And if you don’t already have a copy, you might want to purchase a copy of my eBook, 10 Benefits of Keeping a Spiritual Journal. It’s available on Kindle or in paperback (the paperback has 31 days of blank journaling pages with prompts to help you get started).

Blessings as you grow in Christ,

Donna ♥

Note about this post:

I began blogging through the Bible in 2012 and have done so every year since then. These posts are the product of many edits and additions throughout those years. Some days I make major changes, other days fewer. 

A while ago, I read Jen Wilkin’s book None Like Him about the attributes of God. One is His incomprehensibility. In it, she says, “God is incomprehensible. This does not mean that he is unknowable, but that he is unable to be fully known.”

I have found that to be true each year as I’ve gone back through the Bible. Sometimes I find myself feeling as if a passage just appeared there for the first time. I’m reminded that no matter how many times we read through the Bible, we have only scratched the surface. I hope you feel the same.

Indeed these are the mere edges of His ways,
And how small a whisper we hear of Him!
But the thunder of His power who can understand?” (Job 26.14)

I sometimes LINKUP with these blogs.