“Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me” (Ruth 1.20). Mara means “bitter.” Can you imagine meeting an old friend after a long absence and when she calls you by name, you say, “Don’t call me Donna or Diane or David … call me Bitter.” But Naomi isn’t the only one who deals with bitterness. Sometimes we do and if we give in to it, it doesn’t only affect us. Because it will, eventually, spill out on everyone around us, it’s important to deal with it biblically. So, what is the antidote for bitterness?
Today’s Readings:
Ruth 1 & 2
Psalm 52.1-5
Proverbs 15.4-5
Luke 19.28-48
The Antidote for Bitterness
Ruth 1 & 2:
Famine and Loss
We’re beginning the book of Ruth, a beautiful little story of God’s mercy and redemptive work in the midst of a time of great sin and evil. This story takes place during the time of the Judges when, as you may remember, “everyone did what was right in his own eyes” (Judges 17.6, 21.25).
The story starts out with a famine in Bethlehem where Naomi and her husband Elimelech live. God often used famine to discipline His people or to prune, grow, and test them.
Because of the famine, Elimelech takes his family, Naomi and their sons, and moves to Moab where he dies. The boys marry and then die prematurely, too.
Eventually, Naomi hears that there is bread—prosperity—once again back home so she decides to return. Let’s look at what happens after her decision.
Packing Up
Dr. Amy Baker, a teacher and counselor at Faith Church in LaFayette, Indiana, paints an interesting picture of this story. She pictures Naomi and her daughters-in-law packing and cleaning and getting the house ready to sell and finally loading the wagon and getting on the road headed for Jerusalem when Naomi says to the girls, in effect, “Why don’t you just go back home to your families? I’m not going to be any good to you.”
They obviously love Naomi. Both of them weep and tell her they want to go with her, but Orpah eventually heads back to her family. Ruth does not; instead, she insists on going with Naomi.
What is going on here? We don’t know all the details, but we can glean a great many truths—some of them sad and some beautiful.
Return to Your Gods
One of the saddest things to me is what Naomi says to Ruth after Orpah headed home:
Look, your sister-in-law has gone back to her people and to her gods; return after your sister-in-law (1.15).
Think about that statement, Orpah has returned “… to her gods!”
It seems obvious to me that Naomi loved the girls. She must have struggled with her decision to send the girls back to their families. Otherwise, why would she have waited until they were actually packed and on the road? But where was the concern about their souls? Did she think the best thing for them was to send them back to worship heathen gods?
How about our actions toward those in our lives who don’t know God? Are we as concerned as we should be about their spiritual well-being?
And what about those in our own families? What if we were considering a move to another city or state? Would our first concern be spiritual or temporal?
But back to our story.
Call Me “Bitter”
How does the other daughter-in-law, Ruth, respond to Naomi’s urging? She refuses to go back to that old life. She says your God shall be my God! What a beautiful picture of a changed life! She had obviously come to know the One true God.
And what about Naomi? Why might there have been so little concern about the spiritual well-being of these two young women? Look at what she says to her friends when she arrives in Jerusalem:
Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me (1.20).
As I said in the introduction, Mara means “bitter.” Can you imagine telling your friends not to call you by name but to call you Bitter? That would be like saying, “I don’t like the plan God has for my life and I’ve just decided to be bitter about it!”
Bitterness can make us self-focused rather than focused on God and others.
When we’re focused on ourselves, how life has not been fair, and how things have not turned out the way we planned, we have very little energy left to be concerned about God’s agenda.
All of us have those thoughts and struggles from time to time. But if we stay there very long, self-pity and bitterness can become what we are known by, too.
The Change God Requires
So, what are you known by? Would people call you “Joy” or “Patience” or “Faith” or could they easily call you “Bitter,” “Fearful,” “Critical,” or “Angry”? Maybe it’s something that doesn’t seem quite that bad like “Impatient” or “Worried.” But what do those characteristics say about your faith in God?
What if we realize we have become bitter or have allowed some other sinful attitude to take root?
It’s not enough to grit our teeth and determine to not be angry or fearful or bitter. Self-effort will never bring the change of heart that God requires.
Genuine heart change must start with a genuine relationship with God.
Then we need to renew our minds to what God says about our struggles (Rom. 12.2), confess it for what it is, and humbly ask for God’s help to turn and go His way.
We are to put off sinful thoughts, words, actions, and attitudes but we must also develop new righteous ways of thinking, speaking, and acting (Eph. 4.22-24).
The Antidote for Bitterness
In the case of bitterness, we might study Hebrews 12.3-17, especially verses 14 & 15 to see how bitterness can taint everything and everyone in our lives. We can meditate on the fact that whatever God has allowed in our lives (often some hurt in the case of bitterness) and how He wants to use it for good to discipline or train us as the passage teaches.
We can also read Ephesians 4.22-32, especially verses 31 & 32 to see how we are to put off anger and all its nasty cousins, including bitterness.
Verse 32 tells us that in the place of anger and bitterness, we are to put on kindness, compassion, and forgiveness, the kind of forgiveness God offers us. It isn’t based on what we deserve but on His grace. Remember Jesus died for us while we were still sinners (Rom. 5.8).
Forgiveness isn’t based on our feelings. It’s a choice to obey and honor God.
As we do those things consistently and faithfully, as we continue to meditate on God’s truth and allow it to take root in our hearts, and as we focus on loving and pleasing God, genuine heart change takes place. And, instead of harboring bitterness, we grow in spiritual maturity and the character of Christ.
Today’s Other Readings:
Psalm 52.1-5:
An Age of Grace
Sometimes when we read the Psalms it’s easy to question why David and others called for God’s judgment on those who sinned against them while Jesus said, “love your enemies” (Matt. 5.44).
We live in an age of grace. God is graciously offering the free gift of salvation and mercy to all who will receive it. He asks us to extend that same grace to others (Rom.12.17-21). But there will come a time once again when even the martyrs in heaven will cry out for God to judge the wicked (Rev. 6.9-11) because while He is a God of grace, He is also a God of justice.
Proverbs 15.4-5:
A Wholesome Tongue
A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit (v. 4).
The Bible has much to say about the power of the tongue. A tongue submitted to God and His Word brings life to those who hear it, but a deceitful tongue can wound deeply.
Luke 19.28-48:
The Road to the Cross
As the events leading up to His Crucifixion continue toward their ultimate climax, Jesus is hailed as the Messiah (19.38), further inciting the religious leaders. Their plan to destroy Him is in full force. And in the plan and purposes of God, they will soon get their way.
What About You?
What characteristics are you known by? Take an honest assessment and ask God to help you change those things that are not like Christ.
Coming Up:
In the coming days, we’ll examine sin’s invisible hooks and discuss the battle for truth and religious liberty.
I hope you’ll sign up so you don’t miss any of them.
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Blessings as you grow in Christ,
Donna ♥
Note about this post:
I began blogging through the Bible in 2012 and have done so every year since then. These posts are the product of many edits and additions throughout those years. Some days I make major changes, other days fewer.
A while ago, I read Jen Wilkin’s book None Like Him about the attributes of God. One is His incomprehensibility. In it, she says, “God is incomprehensible. This does not mean that he is unknowable, but that he is unable to be fully known.”
I have found that to be true each year as I’ve gone back through the Bible. Sometimes I find myself feeling as if a passage just appeared there for the first time. I’m reminded that no matter how many times we read through the Bible, we have only scratched the surface. I hope you feel the same.
Indeed these are the mere edges of His ways,
And how small a whisper we hear of Him!
But the thunder of His power who can understand?” (Job 26.14)
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