What is biblical love and can it enable us to treat someone in a Christ-like way even when the other person is acting selfishly? How do the principles in God’s Word apply to marriage and every relationship (with parents, children, co-workers, friends, neighbors, extended family, even strangers)?
Also, read about God’s care for all of His creatures, our attitude toward the wicked, and get a link to a FREE printout for your devotional time that can help you assess how you’re doing in the area of biblical love.
Today’s Readings:
Song of Solomon 5 & 6
Psalm 104.24-30
Proverbs 24.19-20
1 Corinthians 13.1-13
Responding to Selfishness with Love
Song of Solomon 5 & 6:
A Lovers’ Quarrel
In chapter 5.2-8, the Shulamite and Solomon have had a lovers’ quarrel. Solomon expressed his desire for her in the middle of the night and she made excuses.
Both of them were selfishly focused on themselves and by the time his bride had second thoughts, we might say in our jargon, Solomon had gone to sleep on the couch.
I opened for my beloved, but my beloved had turned away and was gone. My heart leaped up when he spoke. I sought him, but I could not find him; I called him, but he gave me no answer (5.6).
Verse 9 begins “What is your beloved more than another beloved …” This serves as a poetic reminder to quit focusing on his selfishness and focus on his good qualities.
That is so important in marriage!
All of us, husbands and wives, are sinners and our tendency is toward selfishness. It’s only by God’s grace we can learn to put others before ourselves (Phil. 2.3-4).
But even when the other one has acted selfishly, we’re responsible to think about it in the best possible light (1 Cor. 13.4), to forgive (Eph. 4.32), and to extend grace—all part of demonstrating biblical love.
And this isn’t important just in the areas of marriage and intimacy. It applies to all areas of life and in all of our relationships.
So what is biblical love? And what does it look like in everyday life? Today’s New Testament reading gives us some beautiful, practical answers.
1 Corinthians 13.1-13:
Biblical Love
Verses 4-8a offer one of the greatest explanations of what biblical love really is. Far more than feelings, it is first a decision to act toward someone else in a loving way, often in spite of our feelings.
One of my favorite definitions of biblical love is “a sacrificial action for the benefit of another and the glory of God without expecting anything in return.”
Here in this passage many of those actions are listed:
4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails …
- Love suffers long—it is patient when tempted to be impatient.
- Love is kind—even in the face of unkindness.
- It does not envy—but rejoices when others are blessed.
- It does not parade itself—it doesn’t boast. All glory belongs to God!
- It is not puffed up—proud. Remember God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble (Jas. 4.6).
- Love is not rude.
- It does not seek its own way.
- It is not provoked.
- It does not think evil of others.
- It does not rejoice in iniquity—that is when others fall.
- It rejoices with the truth—when God’s truth prevails.
- It bears all things—without grumbling and complaining (Phil. 2.14).
- It believes all things—love believes the best of others.
- It hopes all things—love trusts that God is working in our lives and the lives of others and trusts that in His grace all of us can grow and change.
- It endures all things—without casting aside our confidence in God, in His goodness and His ability to cause all things to work together for good (Rom. 8.28).
- And love never fails—it never quits or gives up. Luke 18.1 says that we should always pray and not lose heart, cave in, or give up. And Philippians 4.6-7 says we should pray and be thankful and then the peace of God will be a guard around our hearts and minds.
Intimacy Issues
Back to Solomon’s and his bride’s quarrel. Sometimes, intimacy issues involve more than momentary selfishness. If so, you might want to read Linda Dillow’s and Lorraine Pintus’ book, Intimate Issues: Twenty-One Questions Christian Women Ask About Sex.
I’ve also written a number of other posts on this subject of responding well when others sin or things are difficult. Here are a few:
“7 Steps to Fighting Back after Betrayal”
Handling Tests & Trials Biblically: The Divine Squeeze
Handling Tests & Trials Biblically 2: Coming Forth as Gold
“Responding to Difficult People”
“How Can We Honor Imperfect, Neglectful or Abusive Parents?”
To help you evaluate how you’re doing when it comes to biblical love, see my post from two days ago and download this free printable.
Today’s Other Readings:
Psalm 104.24-30:
He Cares for All Creatures Great and Small
This passage talks about God’s supernatural care for His creatures. “These all wait for You, that You may give them their food in due season …” (v. 27), “… You open your hand, they are filled with good” (v. 28). He even gives and takes away their breath (v. 29).
Just as He cares for the lower forms of life, so He cares for us!
Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you (Matt. 6.31-33).
Proverbs 24.19-20:
Don’t Fret About or Envy the Wicked
Do not fret because of evil doers, nor be envious of the wicked (v. 19).
Romans 12.17-21 tells us that we are to leave the judgment of evil in the hands of God. Instead, we are to keep our focus on taking the logs out of our own eyes (Matt. 7.1-5) and returning evil with good (Rom. 12.21).
Coming Up:
In the coming days, we will talk about tattoos, how God intended sex within marriage to be “red hot,” what Paul had in mind when he said, “Let your women keep silent,” and how we can pull sin and judgment down on ourselves.
I hope you’ll sign up so you don’t miss any of them. You might also like to check out our YouTube channel.
If this post spoke to you, I would love it if you would share it on your favorite social media platform.
And if you don’t already have a copy, you might want to purchase a copy of my eBook, 10 Benefits of Keeping a Spiritual Journal. It’s available on Kindle or in paperback (the paperback has 31 days of blank journaling pages with prompts to help you get started).
Blessings as you grow in Christ,
Donna ♥
Note about this post:
I began blogging through the Bible in 2012 and have done so every year since then. These posts are the product of many edits and additions throughout those years. Some days I make major changes, other days fewer.
A while ago, I read Jen Wilkin’s book None Like Him about the attributes of God. One is His incomprehensibility. In it, she says, “God is incomprehensible. This does not mean that he is unknowable, but that he is unable to be fully known.”
I have found that to be true each year as I’ve gone back through the Bible. Sometimes I find myself feeling as if a passage just appeared there for the first time. I’m reminded that no matter how many times we read through the Bible, we have only scratched the surface. I hope you feel the same.
Indeed these are the mere edges of His ways,
And how small a whisper we hear of Him!
But the thunder of His power who can understand?” (Job 26.14)
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