Welcome to Mondays @ Soul Survival. Each week I feature a book that I consider a valuable resource. This week’s selection is For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men by Shaunti Feldhahn.

 

I probably recommend Shaunti’s book, For Women Only, as much as any book in my counseling arsenal. There are other books that are more in-depth biblically, even other books on the role of the wife that do a better job of explaining from the Scriptures what God has to say about our role. But I find that the one thing women who want to be godly wives struggle with most often is understanding just what we do that our husbands perceive as disrespect. And Shaunti’s book does the best job of helping us do just that!

That isn’t the only thing you’ll come to understand about the inner lives of men. Reading this book will probably provide you with numerous “aha” moments.

From Chapter 1:

Have you ever been totally confused by something the man in your life has said or done? Have you ever wondered, looking at his rapidly departing back, Why did that make him so angry? Have you ever been perplexed by your husband’s defensiveness when you ask him to stop working so much? Yeah? Me too.

But now, after conducting spoken and written interviews with more than one thousand men, I can tell you that the answers to those and dozens of other common perplexities are all related to what is going on in your man’s inner life. Most are things he wishes you knew but doesn’t know how to tell you. In some cases, they’re things he has no idea you don’t know. This book will share those interviews and those answers. But be careful, ladies. You might be slapping your forehead a lot!

She goes on:

I discovered that there were many things I thought I understood about men—but really didn’t. In several areas, my understanding was purely surface-level. Once I got below the surface and into specifics, everything changed. I felt like a cartoon character who suddenly had a lightbulb over my head.

Even better, it turned out that those revelations were mostly about things that my own husband always wished I knew but couldn’t figure out how to explain. And that was a common refrain from most of the men I talked to. Although I still make many mistakes in my relationship with my husband—and will continue to!—finally grasping these things has hopefully helped me to better appreciate and support him in the way that he needs.

I want that light bulb to go on for you as well.

The chapters that follow cover these key subjects:

• Respect, what it is and what it really means to our men.
• Insecurities, how men struggle even when they are full of bravado on the outside.
• How the responsibility to provide for their families effects men and why it’s important to them.
• Sex, why it’s important and how it unlocks the key to their emotions.
• The fact that men are visual and what that really means.
• Men and romance, how they want it even when their attempts are clumsy.
• The truth about the way we look and why it matters.

And finally …

• What Your Man Most Wishes You Knew About Him.

While some of these revelations may be challenging, they can provide much-needed understanding. After all, our Perfect God created us with our differences, both strengths, and weakness, so we could compliment each other. Shaunti’s book can help in that process.

Blessings,
Donna

Quotations taken from:
Feldhahn, Shaunti (2008-08-19). For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men. The Doubleday Religious Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

You can get a copy of For Women Only or shop for other resources here.

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