What’s wrong with living together? Many people today argue that a marriage license is “just a piece of paper.” Others claim that marriage was an institution designed by society or governments and is no longer necessary or useful.

And in fact, our government seems to be perfectly accepting of cohabitation as an alternative. Many businesses consider domestic partners, as they are sometimes referred to, eligible for benefits. Society, as a whole, no longer gives it much thought. So, is marriage an outdated concept? Is living together the practical, logical, even necessary, thing to do in many circumstances?

Also, why do we need to be willing to speak the truth about the LGBTQ+ array of issues? Why must we refuse to be silent?

Today’s Readings:

2 Samuel 1 & 2
Psalm 62.1-4
Proverbs 16.10-12
John 4.1-30

What’s Wrong with Living Together?

John 4.1-30:

Outdated Tradition?

Living Together. Everyone is doing it these days. Celebrities. Young couples. Retired people. Many companies recognize it by providing employee benefits. Couples have babies, start families, buy homes. Attend church. And hardly anyone blinks an eye.

So what’s wrong with simply living together? Isn’t marriage an invention of governments or societies? Isn’t it merely tradition?

Jesus didn’t think so.

³ Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife for just any reason?”

⁴ “Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’” ⁵ And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ ⁶ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”

⁷ “Then why did Moses say in the law that a man could give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away?” they asked.

⁸ Jesus replied, “Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended. ⁹ And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful.”

Notice it is God who joins a couple together and it is in the context of marriage otherwise there would be no discussion of divorce.

In fact, God created marriage before there were communities or governments. It was instituted in the garden of Eden (Gen. 2.22-25).

He Is Not Your Husband

Here in John 4, Jesus addresses the issue of marriage again in His encounter with the Samaritan woman at the well.

In verses 16-18, Jesus tells the woman to go and get her husband and she responds, “I have no husband.” Let’s look at His response:

You have well said, ‘I have no husband,’ for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; in that you spoke truly (v. 18).

Often couples claim that living together is good enough, that it’s really no different from marriage. “After all,” they say, “what difference does a piece of paper make?” But Jesus, clearly, saw it differently! He made a distinction between being married and living together.

Biblically, marriage involved a formal commitment before God and other witnesses. That commitment wasn’t just a contract that could be broken or renegotiated. It was a covenant relationship.

Most important of all is the fact that God designed marriage to be a picture of Christ’s relationship with His bride, the church (Eph. 5.25-33).

This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church (Eph. 5.32).

So let’s consider for a minute Jesus’ relationship with His Bride, the Church.

Jesus & His Bride

What does Jesus’ relationship with us look like? Does He stay with us only if things are working out to His liking? Does He live with us without any commitment to do so forever?

Let’s look at what He said in John 10:

¹⁴ “I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— ¹⁵ just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep.

²⁷ My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. ²⁸ I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. ²⁹ My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand.

In Romans 8, Paul said:

³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

And from the writer of Hebrews:

… God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you” (Heb. 13.5).

So, rather than a what’s-in-it-for-me attitude, Jesus laid His life down for His Bride. He has promised to never leave or forsake us and that nothing can separate us from His love. We have a covenant relationship with Him. He has made an eternal commitment to us.

How Did God’s Design Get So Corrupted?

So, how did God’s Design Get So Corrupted?

First, our culture has become increasingly secularized with fewer and fewer people who have any knowledge of God’s design and His Word. But even among those who do, many simply refuse to acknowledge God’s authority in their lives (Rom. 1.18-22).

Second, pragmatism is a huge part of the equation. Pragmatism simply looks at what is practical and not what is right or good or biblical. Our government has actually facilitated this by giving financial incentives to stay unmarried (insurance programs, food stamps, etc.). There are other financial reasons couples remain unmarried, as well, like the loss of pensions, social security benefits, and alimony, for example.

There is, also, risk involved in getting married. Let’s face it divorce is painful and many people who have been divorced refuse to put themselves in a position to go through it again. And there are financial and other risks, as well.

But risk and hardship are nothing new to the Christian life. Many Christians throughout history have put themselves in danger of arrest, persecution, and hardship for their commitment to Christ.

We live in a fallen world. Do we really expect the culture around us to make it easy for us to do what’s right? This is not your best life now in terms of what the world values. Following Christ has a cost (Lk. 14.26-33).

The Cost of Disobedience

But not obeying God has costs, too.

For unbelievers, the ultimate cost will be an eternal one, but even now no one should think he or she can ignore God’s laws without consequences (Gal. 6.7-8).

Even as believers, we should not think that our loving Father will simply look the other way as we walk in disobedience. Hebrews 12 says:

⁷ As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father? ⁸ If God doesn’t discipline you as he does all of his children, it means that you are illegitimate and are not really his children at all (NLT).

The Bible is not a book of divine suggestions to make our life a little better. We can’t pick and choose the ones we like by expecting God’s protection and blessings, while we go our own way. The Bible is God’s revealed will for His children and He loves us enough to allow circumstances in our lives to discipline us for our good and His glory.

Resources for Further Study:

A great resource on the subject of living together is the booklet “So What’s Wrong with Living Together?: A Biblical Response to Cohabitation” by Jeffrey S. Miller. If you are living with someone to whom you are not married or know someone who is, I want to encourage you to read Mr. Miller’s booklet.

And for a great study of Jewish marriage customs and how they parallel our relationship with Christ, you can go to BibleStudyTools.com. You will be blessed and amazed.

Today’s Other Readings:

2 Samuel 1 & 2:

The Death of Saul & Jonathan

In Chapter 1 David mourns the deaths of Saul and Jonathan, especially Jonathan with whom David had a special covenant relationship. I believe it was Jonathan’s faith in God and sensitivity to what God was doing that led him to make a covenant with David.

We, also, see Jonathan’s loyalty to his father, although he didn’t allow that loyalty to cause him to sin. Instead, he kept his covenant to protect David. He warned David of the threat against him and spoke the truth to his father, telling him what he was doing was wrong. But in the end, he refused to desert his father, even though it cost him his life.

Before we leave this passage, I’d like to make a comment about a passage concerning their covenant relationship that has been misinterpreted and taken out of context.

Misinterpreting the Scripture

In 2 Samuel 1.26, David said:

I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan;
You have been very pleasant to me;
Your love to me was wonderful,
Surpassing the love of women.

This verse, along with 1 Samuel 18.1 have been used by the homosexual community to validate their lifestyle by claiming that David and Jonathan had a homosexual relationship. But is that what these verses tell us?

First, the word for “love” used here is the same one used in 1 Samuel 16.21 and 1 Kings 5.1. It carried a more political or diplomatic meaning.  And second, homosexuality is condemned throughout Scripture (Gen. 1.26-27; Lev. 18.22; Rom. 1.18-25). David would not have been called a man after God’s own heart (Acts 13.22) if he had lived in violation of such commands. Remember God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah for the same.

The relationship between them was obviously a deep personal friendship but it was, also, a covenantal relationship. They made a binding agreement. Jonathan would warn David of danger from his father. And when David became king, Jonathan would have become his second in command. David, also, promised to protect Jonathan’s family and not allow his lineage to stop with him (1 Sam. 18.1-5, 20.16-17, 42, 23.16-18).

You can read more about this subject here.

The Cost of Truth

This is another area where speaking the truth, no matter how gently and respectfully, often has a cost. You may be reviled, persecuted, called judgmental, or worse. But we are called to be salt and light to a world that is, not only increasingly secular but, ungodly and hostile to the truth. It’s, also, a world where many thousands are running headlong into a godless eternity (1 Cor. 6.9-10). We cannot be silent and have their blood on our hands (Ezek. 33.1-9).

Psalm 62.1-4:

Our Rock

He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be greatly moved (v. 2).

If He is our Rock, we will not be made to slip or fall!

Proverbs 16.10-12:

God’s Wisdom

Divination is on the lips of the king; his mouth must not transgress in judgment (v. 10).

I believe the use of the word “divination” there is somewhat misleading.

Matthew Henry sheds some light on this verse in his commentary where he says:

It may be read as a precept to the kings and judges of the earth to be wise and instructed. Let them be just, and rule in the fear of God; let them act with such wisdom and conscience that there may appear a holy divination in all they say or do, and that they are guided by principles supernatural: let not their mouths transgress in judgment, for the judgment is God’s … It may be taken as a promise to all good kings, that if they sincerely aim at God’s glory, and seek direction from him, he will qualify them with wisdom and grace above others, in proportion to the eminency of their station and the trusts lodged in their hands.

Coming Up:

In the coming days, we’ll discuss the cost of losing God’s restraining grace and look at answers to life’s toughest questions. We’ll also talk about these questions: Do your kids know you LIKE them? And who is Jesus?

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If you would like to receive a FREE downloadable and printable Bible study through the book of Mark, you can click here for more information.

Blessings as you grow in Christ,
Donna ♥

Note about this post:

I began blogging through the Bible in 2012 and have done so every year since then. These posts are the product of many edits and additions throughout those years. Some days I make major changes, other days fewer. 

A while ago, I read Jen Wilkin’s book None Like Him about the attributes of God. One is His incomprehensibility. In it, she says, “God is incomprehensible. This does not mean that he is unknowable, but that he is unable to be fully known.”

I have found that to be true each year as I’ve gone back through the Bible. Sometimes I find myself feeling as if a passage just appeared there for the first time. I’m reminded that no matter how many times we read through the Bible, we have only scratched the surface. I hope you feel the same.

Indeed these are the mere edges of His ways,
And how small a whisper we hear of Him!
But the thunder of His power who can understand?” (Job 26.14)

I sometimes LINKUP with these blogs.