Remember. Repent. Repeat. If “red-hot love” has turned to “not tonight, honey” and passion has given way to bills, soccer games, and to-do lists … if you seem to have lost that loving feeling … what do those simple instructions have to do with regaining the feelings of love and romance you once had?

And on what are the greatest feelings in the world dependent? How can we have them no matter what our circumstances and whether or not other people act right or not?

Welcome to “God’s Word Day by Day.” Why not make the coming year the best ever when it comes to your understanding and enjoyment of Scripture by signing up for these daily devotionals? 

Today’s Readings:

Joel 1-3
Psalm 140.6-13
Proverbs 29.24
Revelation 2.1-29

Have You Lost That Loving Feeling?

Revelation 2.1-29:

Encouragement First

Here in chapter 2, God spoke both encouragement and warnings to four key churches in Asia (modern-day Turkey): Ephesus (Rev. 2.1-7), Smyrna (Rev. 2.8-11), Pergamos (Rev. 2.12-17), and Thyatira (Rev. 2.18-29). He’ll address three more in the next chapter: Sardis (Rev. 3.1-6), Philadelphia (Rev. 3.7-13), and Laodicea (Rev. 3.14-22).

His comments to the church at Ephesus can also be applied to our personal lives and relationships, especially in marriage. Remember marriage is an earthy picture of Jesus’ relationship with His bride, the church. Here in Revelation 2, He says:

1 To the angel of the church of Ephesus write,
‘These things says He who holds the seven stars in His right hand, who walks in the midst of the seven golden lampstands. 2 “I know your works, your labor, your patience, and that you cannot bear those who are evil. And you have tested those who say they are apostles and are not, and have found them liars; 3 and you have persevered and have patience, and have labored for My name’s sake and have not become weary. 4 Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. 5 Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place—unless you repent.

Notice that Jesus started with encouragement, rather than criticism. He first told them the things they were doing well. We should be careful to do the same in our relationships with our spouses and others.

But He went on, “Nevertheless I have this against you that you have left your first love.” We might say they had ceased doing the right things for the right reason, out of their love for Him. They were just going through the motions, so to speak.

Have You Lost That Loving Feeling?

In marriage counseling and in conversations with many who are struggling in their marriages, I often see something similar going on. Spouses may be going to work, caring for their children, coming home at the end of the day, and a multitude of other things that married couples do. But one of them will say, “I love him, but I’m just not ‘in love’ with him.”  Sometimes both will say, “We have just fallen out of love.”

Maybe that’s you. Maybe you believe you have really tried to make it work. If so, Jesus’ words to the church at Ephesus apply to you, too, “I know your works …” Jesus sees the effort you have put into it.

But then He goes on to say, “I have this against you, that you have left your first love.” He doesn’t say, “I understand. If you don’t have that ‘loving feeling’ anymore, you can’t help it.” No, He provides the answer, “Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works …” one translation says, “…do the works you did before.” Or as I sometimes say in counseling, “Remember. Repent. Repeat.” Let me explain.

This is not only important to how our spouses and others feel but it turns out it deeply affects our feelings, too.

Falling in Love

When we first fall in love with someone, we think about them all the time, tell ourselves good things about them and how much we want to be with them, focus on all their good points, and take time to talk and build our relationship. And guess what … that loving feeling grows more and more intense.

Losing that Loving Feeling

On the other hand, when “life” starts to enter in, we may realize he leaves his dirty socks everywhere and would rather watch football than have a meaningful conversation. He, on the other hand, becomes increasingly annoyed because you criticize his driving and are not always hot for romance. Then we start telling ourselves other things. And guess what? That loving feeling begins to wane.

But the answer is the same in our individual relationships as it was for the Ephesians in their relationship with Christ, “remember …, repent …, and do …”

Remember the things about him or her that caused you to fall in love. Remember the kinds of things you did for and with each other. And Remember the things you told yourself—how you thought about the other one.

Repent of your unbiblical thoughts, words, and actions. Ask God and your spouse, where appropriate, to forgive you. If your struggle has been mostly in your thinking and not your actions toward your spouse, you only need to take it to the Lord. And, yes, your spouse may need to do the same, but you are only responsible for yourself!

And finally, repeat—do the deeds you did before. Do the things you did when you felt the way you used to. It’s amazing how when we start thinking and doing right, that loving feeling often follows.

That may seem like an oversimplification because many of the problems we encounter are bigger than dirty socks and backseat driving, but the principle is the same.

Therefore remember, repent, and repeat the deeds you did before!

It’s profoundly simple and profoundly powerful!

Our Ultimate Motivation

Of course, ultimately, our motivation for loving our spouses and obeying God in every area should be to please God (2 Cor. 5.9) and to bring Him glory (Is. 43.7). But our feelings are often indicators of things that are going on in our hearts. Just like we do with the warning lights on the dashes of our cars, we should take a closer look and find out what’s going on under the hood.

Feelings are real and they can be extremely intense, good or bad, but they are lousy leaders. If we live our lives based on our feelings, sooner or later we will wind up in a ditch. Instead, we should ask God to examine our hearts (Ps. 139.23-24) and live our lives based on His commands and principles.

When we see sinful attitudes, words, or actions, we should repent and do those things that are pleasing to Him. Obeying God, sometimes in spite of our feelings, will lead to the greatest feelings of all: peace with God and joy in Him. And we can have those no matter what our circumstances and whether or not other people do the same.

Note: We cannot enjoy peace with God unless we have been forgiven of our sins and are in a right relationship with Him. If that’s not you, I encourage you to read one or both of these posts:

“Do You Live with a Sense of Guilt?”

“Could You Be a Christian in Name Only?”

Today’s Other Readings:

Joel 1-3:

Turn to Me with All Your Heart

Chapter 2.11-13:

11 The LORD gives voice before His army,
For His camp is very great;
For strong is the One who executes His word.
For the day of the LORD is great and very terrible;
Who can endure it?
12 “ Now, therefore,” says the LORD,
“ Turn to Me with all your heart,
With fasting, with weeping, and with mourning.”
13 So rend your heart, and not your garments;
Return to the LORD your God,
For He is gracious and merciful,
Slow to anger, and of great kindness;
And He relents from doing harm.

The “Day of the Lord” had a near fulfillment, which we read about in the book of Ezekiel, but it will also have an end-time fulfillment. We’ll be reading more about the end-time fulfillment as we continue through the book of Revelation.

As you read verses 12 and 13 above, you can see God’s mercy, love, and patience. But because He is also a holy God and a God of justice, He will eventually judge those who have not turned to Him in repentance and faith.

Psalm 140.6-13:

He Maintains the Cause of the Afflicted

I know that the LORD will maintain the cause of the afflicted, and justice for the poor. Surely the righteous shall give thanks to Your name; the upright shall dwell in Your presence (vv. 12-13).

Though God sometimes allows believers to suffer persecution and trials, God is never apart from them. He uses them for our good (Rom. 8.28-29) and will never allow us to go through more than we can handle without giving in to sin, as long as we rely on His grace (1 Cor. 10.13).

Proverbs 29.24:

The Web of a Thief

Whoever is a partner with a thief hates his own life; he swears to tell the truth, but reveals nothing.

It’s self-destructive to get drawn into the web of a thief. In business, we convince ourselves that his or her skills outweigh their faults or that we’re too smart to be cheated or deceived, but it’s a trap.

This is also true in dating relationships. Even when there are red flags, when they have cheated on former mates, when they mislead other people, we think it will be different with us. Sometimes too late, we realize that who they were with others, they will be with us once we’re married or deeply involved.

Coming Up:

In the next few days, we’ll talk about grace, unfair treatment, being a Christian single, the responsibility involved in being a true friend, and discuss the question, “Are you a lukewarm Christian?” I hope you’ll join us.

Get Ready for the Coming Year with a Plan for Your Bible Reading

The holidays are just around the corner and the new year will be on us before we know it. What will you do to make Bible reading an ongoing habit in the coming year? I want to encourage you to set a goal to read through the Bible again or for the first time. If you join me here, I’ll take you through a plan that covers both the Old and New Testaments in about 15 minutes a day. Sign up here for my daily email. It can serve as a gentle reminder to stay on track and I believe you’ll benefit from the additional background and application comments that I share.

Start today so you can begin the habit and it will be a regular part of your day come January.

You can also follow me on Twitter, Facebook, or Pinterest. Just click on the social media icons. But nothing replaces having the daily devotion pop up in your inbox each day. It, usually (once in a while life gets in the way), goes out at 6 a.m. MST.

Blessings as you grow in Christ,
Donna ♥

Note about this post:

I began blogging through the Bible in 2012 and have done so every year since then. These posts are the product of many edits and additions throughout those years. Some days I make major changes, other days fewer. 

A while ago, I read Jen Wilkin’s book None Like Him about the attributes of God. One is His incomprehensibility. In it, she says, “God is incomprehensible. This does not mean that he is unknowable, but that he is unable to be fully known.”

I have found that to be true each year as I’ve gone back through the Bible. Sometimes I find myself feeling as if a passage just appeared there for the first time. I’m reminded that no matter how many times we read through the Bible, we have only scratched the surface. I hope you feel the same.

Indeed these are the mere edges of His ways,
And how small a whisper we hear of Him!
But the thunder of His power who can understand?” (Job 26.14)

I sometimes LINKUP with these blogs.