Not all suffering is caused by sin on the part of the sufferer. It can come from persecution or simply as the result of living in a fallen world. We can’t know someone else’s heart and shouldn’t assume their suffering is the result of sin. But sin can sometimes be the cause of our suffering or can make it worse even when the initial circumstances were not our fault. So, could sin be complicating my suffering or yours?
This is an important question because, often, our suffering can be greatly reduced or eliminated when we deal with its root. In today’s post, I’ll share 3 heart-probing questions to help you determine whether sinful responses might be worsening your suffering.
Also today:
With broken families and the pressures of living in a post-Christian world, older believers have a mission that has never been more important. If you are a senior adult, do you know what that mission is and are you being a good steward of it?
And from our New Testament reading, many people think they are children of God because they belong to a certain church, were raised in a Christian home, have “always believed in God,” have been baptized, taken communion, or are “good people.” But can any of those things save us?
Today’s Readings:
Job 7 & 8
Psalm 92.8-15
Proverbs 22.17-21
Romans 9.1-15
Could My Response to Someone’s Sin Cause Me More Suffering?
Job 7 & 8:
Soul Care in Suffering
If you have been reading along or are familiar with Job’s story, you know that Job suffered incredible losses. And in chapter 7, he pours out his complaints to his friends and to God and tries to justify his desire to die and bring all this suffering to an end.
In chapter 8, one of Job’s friends, Bildad, responds with the same underlying belief as his other friends that Job somehow brought all his suffering on himself. Though not everything he says is wrong, he assumes that Job somehow caused it all. Remember God Himself said Job was, “blameless and upright, and one who feared God and shunned evil” (Job 1.1).
There are times when we should exhort, even rebuke, one another because we have gotten into excessive sorrow or self-pity or because we are obviously suffering the consequences of sinful choices. But there are, also, times when we just need to listen and let a sufferer pour out his or her heart. Some have called it “soulcare.” And we always need to be careful not to assume that sin is the cause of a friend’s suffering, especially when we don’t know all the facts.
Suffering & Sin
That doesn’t mean our suffering is never the result of sin. Often it is caused, or at least complicated, by our own sin. For example, it may be that we have been sinned against, sometimes in grievous ways. But sometimes we respond to the other person’s sin with anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, by turning to drugs or alcohol, by acting out sexually, or in other sinful or self-destructive ways.
And there are times when we must lovingly confront one another, even when we understand that the person was also sinned against:
Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ (Gal. 6.1-2).
Sometimes gentle confrontation is the most loving thing we can do.
Responding to Suffering
So, how do we keep ourselves from ending up in a ditch because of some sinful response to another person’s sin?
We must examine our own hearts regularly. James called the Word a mirror. We need to look into the mirror of God’s Word and see where we are not like Christ, where we have responded to others or our circumstances in sinful ways, and be honest about patterns of sin, wrong thinking, and wrong attitudes. Have we chosen to go our own way, despite what we know is right? We might ask ourselves questions like these.
Questions to Ask Yourself When Suffering
Am I responding to others or my circumstances with anger toward God? If so, I’m not trusting in God’s goodness and sovereignty and failing to worship God as I should (Ps. 52.1; Rom. 8.28).
In what am I seeking relief? Am I choosing to run to food, alcohol, drugs, sex, or some other source of pleasure or relief, instead of running to God and relying on Him? If so, I’m failing to keep the first commandment (Ex. 20.3-4).
Am I choosing to withhold love, affection, or fellowship from my spouse or someone else? Am I seeking my own revenge with my words and actions, or by giving them the silent treatment? In the case of my spouse, am I withholding intimacy? If so, I’m failing to keep the two great commandments (Matt. 22.37-40).
If we are sinning in any of those ways, we should ask God and, if necessary, others to forgive us no matter what they have done or whether or not they take responsibility for their part of the problem. Of course, if there has been abuse, we should not put ourselves or our children in any kind of danger. I’ve written more about that subject in this post, “Help for Abuse Victims”. Neither does it mean that there might not be biblical grounds for divorce or reasons to eliminate contact with someone. You can read more about that here, “Can Christians Divorce?”
Suffering & God’s Vengeance
Sometimes we think that if we forgive, the other person will simply “get away” with whatever they did. But no one “gets away” with anything.
7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. 8 For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. 9 And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. 10 Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith (Gal. 6.7-10).
But it’s not our place to seek revenge. Even the silent treatment is a form of revenge.
17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good (Rom. 12.17-21 ESV).
Burning coals represents the conviction that only God can bring down on the other person. When we seek to overcome evil with good, we are trusting and obeying God and allowing Him to do what only He can do.
Confession, Repentance & Forgiveness Even in Suffering
When we see sin in our own lives, even when suffering, we need to repent and seek God’s forgiveness. Anger, bitterness, fear, anxiety, immorality, and other sinful responses will only lead to more grief and pain. Then we need to pray for God’s help to live His way. Proverbs 28.13-14 says this:
He who covers his sins will not prosper,
But whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.
Happy is the man who is always reverent,
But he who hardens his heart will fall into calamity.
I want God’s mercy. How about you? Jesus Himself said this in Matthew 5:
7 “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.
8 “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
9 “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.
10 “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
God’s way is not always the way that seems right to us. But it is the way to genuine peace, joy, and blessedness.
Today’s Other Readings:
Psalm 92.8-15:
Good News for the Older Generation
Those who are planted in the house of the LORD shall flourish in the courts of our God. They shall still bear fruit in old age; they shall be fresh and flourishing (vv. 13-14).
That’s good news for those of us who are getting older!
Titus 2 talks about one of the ways God has called mature Christian women to bear fruit:
3 the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— 4 that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.
With broken families and the pressures of living in a post-Christian world, this is a mission that has never been more important. And while it may not be spelled out quite as clearly in the Titus chapter, it’s just as important for mature men to disciple younger men. May we all be good stewards of this responsibility.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss Wolgemuth has a wonderful book about the importance of being a Titus 2 woman. Adorned: Living Out the Beauty of the Gospel Together is a powerful call to discipleship, humility, and the importance of growing in community “so that in everything [we] may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior” (Tit. 2.10).
Proverbs 22.17-21:
How to Grow Your Faith and Trust in God
Incline your ear and hear the words of the wise, and apply your heart to my knowledge; for it is a pleasant thing if you keep them within you; let them all be fixed upon your lips, so that your trust may be in the LORD (vv. 17-19a).
We must be purposeful about our intake of God’s Word. We must “incline” our ears and focus our attention on what we are reading or hearing. Otherwise, we can go through the motions without really taking anything into our hearts. Then we must “apply” God’s truth to our lives—we must do what God’s Word shows us to do.
The end result, in good times and bad, in suffering and rejoicing, will be our growth in faith and trust in Him!
Romans 9.1-15:
The Only Means of Salvation
But it is not that the word of God has taken no effect. For they are not all Israel who are of Israel, nor are they all children because they are the seed of Abraham … (vv. 6-7a).
Paul loved his countrymen, the Jews, so much that he wished he could take their place as accursed (Rom. 9.3) or unsaved, but he knew that was not possible. Each of us must answer to God on our own and the only thing in question is “What have we done with the sacrifice of His Son?” Have we accepted Christ’s work on the cross as the only means of salvation or not?
Children of the Flesh
Today many people think they are children of God because they belong to a certain church, were raised in a Christian home, have “always believed in God,” have been baptized or taken communion, or are “good people.” But the truth is, none of those things can save us. If they could, why would Jesus have had to suffer and die that horrible death?
He did it to take our place, to take the punishment we deserved. We become His children by admitting that we cannot save ourselves and by putting our faith and trust in what He did for us.
Paul said in verse 8, “… That is, those who are the children of the flesh, these are not the children of God; but the children of the promise are counted as the seed.” Those who try to work it out in the flesh, by “being good,” by going to church, by being baptized … are children of the flesh, not the promise! We should do those things because we are believers, but those things cannot save us.
Once we understand that, we can and must tell others! I pray that none of us has to answer to God because we were too afraid we would offend someone. How much more offensive it would be for them to realize the truth when it’s too late!
Coming Up:
In the coming days, as we go through the books of Job and Romans and continue our yearlong journey through Psalms and Proverbs, we’ll look at sins that are contagious and talk about how to respond when life is hard and confusing.
I hope you’ll sign up so you don’t miss any of them. You might also like to check out our YouTube channel.
If this post spoke to you, I would love it if you would share it on your favorite social media platform.
And if you don’t already have a copy, you might want to purchase a copy of my eBook, 10 Benefits of Keeping a Spiritual Journal. It’s available on Kindle or in paperback (the paperback has 31 days of blank journaling pages with prompts to help you get started).
Blessings as you grow in Christ,
Donna ♥
Note about this post:
I began blogging through the Bible in 2012 and have done so every year since then. These posts are the product of many edits and additions throughout those years. Some days I make major changes, other days fewer.
A while ago, I read Jen Wilkin’s book None Like Him about the attributes of God. One is His incomprehensibility. In it, she says, “God is incomprehensible. This does not mean that he is unknowable, but that he is unable to be fully known.”
I have found that to be true each year as I’ve gone back through the Bible. Sometimes I find myself feeling as if a passage just appeared there for the first time. I’m reminded that no matter how many times we read through the Bible, we have only scratched the surface. I hope you feel the same.
Indeed these are the mere edges of His ways,
And how small a whisper we hear of Him!
But the thunder of His power who can understand?” (Job 26.14)
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