Blended Families Part 17: Loyalty Conflicts & Blended Families in the Bible Over the last 4½ months, we’ve looked at blended family issues of all kinds: the losses and the gains involved, how to love one another biblically, God’s goal...
Today we’ll discuss how to help your children and step-children adjust to blended family life and some of the issues that may need to be addressed.
Last week in “Blended Families Part 13: Differences Between Households,” we began looking at ways to deal with the different rules and expectations between your household and that of your ex in a God-honoring way. We looked at how to evaluate whether or not to make an issue out of any situation and began talking about how to respond when you ex isn’t willing to work on issues. This week we’ll discuss more ways we can seek to live in peace and solve problems.
This week in “Blended Families Part 13: Differences Between Households,” we’ll look at how to deal with the different rules and expectations between your house and that of your ex. We’ll also talk about how God can use it all for good.
Blended Families Part 11: How to Start Dealing with Ex’s In last week’s post, “Behavior Contracts,” we talked about two tools for more successful and biblical parenting, “behavior contracts” and “think papers.” By the way, both are great tools...
Blended Families Part 9: A Plan for Successful Step-Parenting We’ve all heard the saying, “Fail to plan; plan to fail.” In last week’s post, “You’re not my dad!” we talked about the challenges step-parents face when children don’t recognize...
“You’re not my dad!” “I don’t have to listen to you!” “You can’t tell me what to do!” I wonder how many times those statements have been made in step-families.Or how about these, “They’re your kids, you deal with it!” or “They’re my kids, I’ll handle it!”How does God expect us to handle these issues? Should the step-parent back off and let the biological parent deal with his or her children? Should we get into a power struggle and make sure the child knows who’s boss? Are children the sole responsibility of their natural parents?
Last week we talked about angry children. But we can’t talk about angry children without asking ourselves if there are things we might be doing, intentionally or unintentionally, that provoke our children to anger.Ephesians 6.4 says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”And Colossians 3.21 says, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart.”While each of us, including our children, is responsible for his or her behavior, we can’t read those two verses without admitting we can make it easier for our children to become angry or exasperated.
We’ve all seen them or experienced them, blended families with angry, resentful children or teens. And parents who are just trying to “live through it” until the kids are old enough to leave home. In some cases, the children aren’t only angry but are in full-blown rebellion. I don’t have to tell you this falls far short of God’s best for families.How does this happen when couples start out with such high hopes for their marriages and families?
Today we’re going to look at one of the biggest issues parents, step-parents, and children face when two families become one … favoritism. We’ll also look at the need to view the blended family as one and how to avoid having a child-centered home.
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