Have you ever wished someone could hand you a step-by-step plan for changing your husband—or your wife?
Most of us have tried. We’ve explained, reminded, pointed out problems, offered advice, and perhaps even repeated ourselves a few times. Yet somehow the results are often disappointing.
But what if the very thing we think will produce change is actually making it harder?
In today’s reading, Proverbs paints a vivid picture of one kind of spouse and then contrasts it with another. The difference isn’t personality, intelligence, or even spiritual maturity. It’s something far more practical—and surprisingly powerful.
Could the best way to influence your spouse be the exact opposite of what comes naturally to most of us?
Many people today argue that a marriage license is “just a piece of paper.” Others claim marriage is merely a social institution created by governments or cultures and is no longer necessary or practical. Living together has become normal. Couples build homes, raise children, attend church, share finances, and society hardly gives them a second thought.
So is marriage outdated? Is cohabitation simply the logical and practical option?
Jesus addressed a surprisingly similar issue.
In today’s New Testament reading, Jesus meets a Samaritan woman at a well and gently but clearly addresses her relationships. During their conversation He tells her, “You have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband.”
Those words reveal something important: Jesus made a distinction between marriage and simply living together.
Why does that matter?
Because marriage was never merely a government arrangement, cultural tradition, or legal formality. Long before governments or societies existed, God established marriage in the Garden as a covenant relationship. More than that, He designed it to reflect something far greater—Christ’s relationship with His Bride, the Church.
Today, we also live in a culture increasingly confused not only about marriage but also about sexuality, identity, truth, and God’s design for human relationships. As believers, we will often face pressure to stay quiet, soften the truth, or avoid difficult conversations altogether.
But love does not remain silent when truth is at stake.
Today’s readings challenge us to think carefully about God’s design, His authority, and what it means to speak truth graciously and faithfully in a culture that increasingly resists both.
Remember. Repent. Repeat. If “red-hot love” has turned to “not tonight, honey” and passion has given way to bills, soccer games, and to-do lists … if you seem to have lost that loving feeling … what do those simple instructions have to do with regaining the feelings of love and romance you once had?
And on what are the greatest feelings in the world dependent? How can we have them no matter what our circumstances and whether or not other people act right or not?
The Bible says a lot about wives submitting to their own husbands. But what if you’re married to an unreasonable husband or one who is harsh, unsaved, or even sinning? How should a wife respond to an unreasonable spouse? Surely, God doesn’t expect wives to be submissive then! And what about husbands? How are they to treat their wives, even those who are unsubmissive or difficult?
What does the Bible say about marriage and divorce? Is divorce always forbidden? What about remarriage, singleness, and sex, both inside and outside of marriage? Does the Bible really address those subjects and, if so, does it have any relevance for today?
Also, in the book of Job, God talks about many of the amazing animals He created: the horse with all his strength and fearlessness, the hawk, the eagle, and a huge sea creature called Leviathan.
In fact, He dedicated an entire chapter, 34 verses, to this creature called Leviathan. Was he a giant reptile, possibly a dinosaur? And what was the point of it all?
Finally, our Proverbs passage talks about the drunkard and how, even after a hangover, he runs to look for his next drink. The world wants us to believe he can’t help it, that it’s a disease called alcoholism, but what does the Bible say?
The latest statistics I could find say the rate of divorce in the US is about 40-50%, but I’ve discovered that statistics are hard to pin down. Some say the rate of divorce has dropped in the last decade and that as high as 70% of marriages make it to their 15th year. If that’s true, what about the 30 or 40% who don’t? And is it possible that the divorce rate is going down because many couples simply live together without marrying?
What does the Bible say about divorce? Is it allowable to divorce because we’re not happy or no longer in love? Is it okay to divorce if we realize we are unequally yoked? Are there biblical grounds for divorce? And one final question, why is it so important for singles to understand these principles, too?
It’s time for our next marriage retreat. We’re so excited about seeing marriages like yours grow and get stronger.
Wherever you are in your marriage, you can take it to the next level with a Bible-based marriage retreat. Couples will get away and work on some of the most common marriage issues like communication, conflict resolution, growth in intimacy, and help understanding why you or your spouse responds as you do at times.
You’ll also enjoy beautiful accommodations and time spent with each other.
Marriage can be one of the greatest human relationships there is. It can offer companionship, friendship, intimacy, and someone to rely on through the ups and downs of life. But sometimes marriage isn’t what you expected. Often marriage will test you in ways you weren’t prepared for.
Communication … it’s a big thing in all human relationships but it’s vitally important in our marriages. There are so many things that we need to communicate about … finances, children, work, schedules, even intimacy … and when we don’t do it well or hardly at all, it can lead to misunderstandings, hard feelings, and outright war.
