It is a problem that plagues us all. It shows up in our first days of life and has the potential to impact us to the end. It is magnified by marriage and other close relationships. And like so much else, it started in the Garden. What is it?
The Most Important Relationship Verse
Selfishness.
That adorable little bundle of joy will scream his lungs out if he doesn’t get his bottle when he wants it. Who cares if it’s 2 am!
The 2-year-old didn’t even know she wanted that toy until another toddler picks it up. And try telling her “no”!
Then there’s the infamous Wal-Mart trip. Who hasn’t had a whining (or screaming) child because he or she can’t have the toy or candy they want.
As adults, we get a little more sophisticated in our tantrums. We withhold affection, slam cabinets, refuse to talk, or just go do what we want.
Often we feel quite justified in our selfishness. Why do we always go to the restaurant he likes? It’s not fair. I’m not going to be a doormat. Why is it about his career? We always go to her mother’s. I’m sure each of us could come up with our own list.
Even when we seem the least selfish, selfishness can still be the motive.
When we’re dating, for example, it seems to be all about the other person. But we do what we do because of what we want. We want the person of our dreams, the one who will meet our needs, and make us happy. So we put our best foot forward. Too often, the honeymoon is barely over before selfishness rears its head in more obvious ways.
So, is there really a verse of Scripture that can change our hearts and lives in this area … a verse that can help us be less selfish?
Not without the power of the Holy Spirit. And not by some mystical means.
You see without the power of the Holy Spirit who takes up residence in us when we are born again through the gospel, we can’t make genuine heart change (2 Cor. 5.15, 17). And even as believers, it is not a matter of knowing this verse or others. It is a matter of knowing it, praying for God’s help in applying it, and then stepping out in faith and doing it (Heb. 5.12-14).
But if we are willing to do those things, this passage can be life and relationship changing. What is it? Philippians 2.3-4:
3 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. 4 Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
The New Living Translation says it even clearer:
3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.
Learning a new way of living and interacting with others isn’t easy, at least not at first. It goes against our natural, selfish inclinations, but as I explain in more detail in today’s daily post, what starts out hard gets easier because God gives us the help we need and blesses us in the process. And what seems like the easy way, living selfishly, causes life to get hard … very hard.
Here is what has been happening this week at Soul Survival:
“Will We Follow Him to the End?”
“Why Are the Songs We Sing Important?”
“Bored with the Things of God?”
“Are You Guilty of Judging God?”
And in case you missed it, last week’s newsletter:
“Was the Cross a Cosmic Overreaction?”
Coming Up in the Daily Posts:
In the coming days, we’ll talk about developing a thirst for God, how faith can be risky, and parenting from the foot of the cross.
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Blessings,
Donna
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