Are you usually open, honest, and transparent or do you tend to hide who you are? Before you answer, think about the different relationships, social situations, and environments in which you find yourself.

The truth is many of us rather than being transparent are overly concerned about what people think of us. We’re concerned about first impressions. We struggle with thoughts like, “If people really knew me, they wouldn’t want to be my friend (co-worker, employer, etc.)” This plays out in dating relationships, in families, in the workplace, with our friends, with strangers, inside the church, and even with God.

What is it that makes us want to hide or try to be what others expect us to be? And why is it so important that we learn to be appropriately open and transparent with God and with people?

Welcome, to “God’s Word Day by Day” where I blog through the Bible in a Year. I hope you’ll join me every day. If you’re not already signed up, you can do it here. This year I’ve added a couple of new features. First, check out the “Free Resources” tab at the top. You’ll find a downloadable, printable PDF with “Going Deeper Study Questions” for each day’s post. And … this year you’ll find the daily “Bible in a Year” posts on YouTube. The daily emails now have a link to both the Soul Survival posts here and the YouTube videos. I hope you’ll sign up. (If you already receive them, no need to sign up again.)

Today’s Readings:

Genesis 23 & 24
Psalm 7.1-5
Proverbs 3.7-8
Matthew 9.1-17

Are You Honest & Transparent or Do You Hide Who You Are?

Genesis 23 & 24:

Marriage Customs

Sometimes as we read about the customs in the Bible, it’s difficult to see the connection to us today. What if, as a young woman, someone showed up and said, “God wants you to go to another country to marry a man you’ve never met—and by the way—he’s your long-lost cousin!” That’s my paraphrase of what happened with Isaac’s future wife, Rebekah.

Marriages were usually arranged in Biblical times. People didn’t just meet, date, fall in love, decide to get married, and live happily ever after. Even if they did “fall in love” which seemed to happen with Jacob and Rachel a few chapters from now, things still had to be arranged with the potential bride’s family. In Jacob’s case, that arrangement took fourteen years.

But today’s reading is about Isaac, Abraham’s promised son. He’s a grown man now, yet his father sent his servant to find him a bride. And it wasn’t that he fell instantly in love when he saw her. When Rebekah realized it was Isaac coming to meet her, she covered herself with a veil. He didn’t even get a good look at her when they finally met! By the way, later, we’ll see how a veil plays a part in Jacob’s and Rachel’s story, too.

Hiding Behind Modern Veils

Though Rebekah wasn’t wearing a veil while she traveled, most commentators agree that it was a sign of humility, modesty, and subjection. But note the fact that Isaac played no part in the choice of a bride shows his subjection to his father’s authority. Respect and authority were very much a part of life in the culture.

We don’t wear veils today, at least not until we’re walking down the aisle, but we do often hide who we really are. Paul Tripp says western-style dating is just a step above used car sales because the last thing we want is for the other person to look under the hood and see who we really are. We’d rather put our best foot forward, as the saying goes.

Then later, the woman who happily watched football with her boyfriend or fiance won’t be bothered after they’re married. The boyfriend who seemed kind and considerate while they were dating becomes the husband who wants everything his way.

Paul Tripp says after they’re married many women say, “Where is the man I married?” He jokingly answers, “This IS the man you married. The man you dated was a fake!” But, many men could say the same thing about us, ladies. “Amen” or “oh, me!”

(For more on recognizing problems in dating relationships, you might want to read “21 Premarital Red Flags & A Deal Breaker.”)

But it isn’t just in dating relationships that we tend to hide who we are.

Transparent or Hiding from God & Others?

Pride and the fear of man (concern about what others think) cause us to hide who we really are in social situations, in the workplace, and even in the church. But the Bible teaches that there are blessings in openness and honesty.

And we don’t just hide from people. Like Adam and Eve when they sinned (Gen. 3.8), we also try to hide from God.

1 John says:

… if we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin (1 Jn. 1.7).

When we’re transparent with God by walking in the light of His Word and confessing our sins as soon as we are aware of them, we’ll enjoy greater peace in our relationship with Him.

We fail in this area, in part, because we lack a proper understanding of the gospel. Instead of trying to hide from God, we need to run back to the cross and remember that Christ died because we cannot live life perfectly.

Proverb 28.13 says:

He who covers his sins will not prosper,
But whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.

This shouldn’t become a justification for an “I’ll-sin-now-and-ask-forgiveness-later attitude.” But when we have a proper understanding of what the gospel means and how willing God is to forgive His children, it doesn’t cause us to sin more. Contemplating the gospel makes us want to live in ways that are pleasing to Him out of love and gratitude for what He has done.

Transparent with People

The willingness to be transparent and to let down our walls of self-protection and self-consciousness are valuable in human relationships, too. You can’t have honest relationships without doing so.

The only way to have a God-honoring, one-flesh marriage is to allow the other person to know us, to ask for prayer, to share our struggles, and to be willing to be rebuked when necessary. When we’re teachable and transparent with one another, marriage becomes one of God’s tools to help us become more like Christ. And it teaches us to love as God loves, not because the other person is perfect but sacrificially and as a commitment.

The same is true of genuine friendships. But when we hide behind a facade, pretend to be doing fine when we aren’t, refuse to admit our faults, and only allow people to know us on a surface level, we deprive ourselves of intimate relationships.

A proper understanding of the gospel is the key. When we understand that we are loved and accepted by God based on Christ’s righteousness, we are free to be transparent with the people God brings into our lives. And, more importantly, with God Himself.

Today’s Other Readings:

Psalm 7.1-5:

Trusting God in Persecution

O LORD my God, in You I put my trust; save me from all those who persecute me; and deliver me (v. 1).

Instead of becoming defensive or returning evil for evil when persecuted, we’re to put our faith and trust in God.

Proverbs 3.7-8:

Depart from Evil

Verse 7 says;

Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and depart from evil.

Whether it’s in times of persecution or some other kind of mistreatment, as I mentioned above, our tendency is to return evil for evil. But God says “fear the Lord and depart from evil.” In fact, Romans 12 reminds us that we’re to overcome evil with good.

Matthew 9.1-17:

More about Walking in the Light

Jesus constantly shined the light of God’s truth into people’s hearts in His time. Some responded by allowing it to illuminate their hearts and to see Him as God and themselves as sinners in need of a Savior. Others, like the religious leaders, responded in anger and eventually crucified Him rather than allowing their hearts to be exposed.

Closing Thoughts:

Where is God shining the light in your life?

Are there any relationships where you have been hiding who you are? How can you be more transparent with God and appropriate people?

Coming Up:

In the coming days, we’ll talk about the consequences of favoritism, the kind of reality and full disclosure that God offers us in the Bible, and ask the question “If we act badly because of hormonal issues, is it biology or sin?”

I hope you’ll join me and, if you haven’t already,  take the challenge to read through the Bible with me this year. Even though we may do it imperfectly or miss a day here and there, I find when we set it as a goal, we read far more of God’s Word than we would otherwise. I know we all get far too much email these days but having the daily devotion pop up in your inbox each day can serve as a general reminder to get into God’s Word. It goes out at 6 a.m. MST.

You can also follow me on Twitter, Facebook, or Pinterest, and now listen on YouTube. Just click on the social media icons or go to my YouTube channel.

Blessings as you grow in Christ,
Donna ♥

Note about this post:

I began blogging through the Bible in 2012 and have done so every year since then. These posts are the product of many edits and additions throughout those years. Some days I make major changes, other days fewer. 

I recently read Jen Wilkin’s book None Like Him about the attributes of God. One is His incomprehensibility. In it, she says, “God is incomprehensible. This does not mean that he is unknowable, but that he is unable to be fully known.”

I have found that to be true each year as I’ve gone back through the Bible. Sometimes I find myself feeling as if a passage just appeared there for the first time. I’m reminded that no matter how many times we read through the Bible, we have only scratched the surface. I hope you feel the same.

Indeed these are the mere edges of His ways,
And how small a whisper we hear of Him!
But the thunder of His power who can understand?” (Job 26.14)

I sometimes LINKUP with these blogs.