Do you have any uncommon friends? You know the ones, friends who encourage you and help you grow in your walk with God? And what kind of friend are you, a common friend or an uncommon friend? While each person is precious to God, he or she may or may not be an uncommon friend. Common friends abound. They are the norm. But uncommon friends are rare blessings from God!
Also, read about how we are not only saved by grace but kept by grace and about the importance of preaching the gospel to ourselves every day.
Today’s Readings:
Esther 7 & 8
Psalm 90.7-17
Proverbs 22.10-11
Romans 5
Uncommon Friends
Proverbs 22.10-11:
Common, Even Toxic
As a child, I remember singing a little song about friends. Perhaps you know it. It went “Make new friends but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold.”
But not all friends are silver and gold. Some may actually be toxic. Others, rather than friends, may be more acquaintances. Still others may be friends but mostly on a surface level. Certainly, our lives can be enhanced by knowing a variety of people even if they are not close friends.
But toxic friends are another thing altogether. They can drag us into gossip or other lifestyle sins or bring the worst out in us in some other way. While we should note that no one else can cause us to sin, some people can certainly tempt us. We should be loving and kind to people in this category and pray for them but they are not the kind of people we should be closely tied to.
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness (2 Cor. 6.14 ESV)?
Even if they profess to be believers if they don’t live it, their friendship can be dangerous.
Common or Uncommon?
Toxic people aside, what is the difference between a common and an uncommon friend from a biblical perspective?
Two of the words used to define “common” are ordinary and unexceptional. Common friends may be nice people. They may love God. They may even be uncommon friends to someone else. But they aren’t exceptional friends in our lives.
So, what does an “uncommon” or true friend look like? How does he speak? What are her motives? How is he or she exceptional rather than unexceptional? Perhaps our reading from Proverbs can help us understand.
Verse 11 says:
He who loves purity of heart and has grace on his lips, the king will be his friend.
Let’s look at those two phrases, “purity of heart” and “grace on his lips.”
Purity of Heart & Grace-Filled Lips
Jesus spoke of the pure in heart in Matthew 5.8. He said the pure in heart would see God. What does it mean to be pure in heart? Perhaps the first thing that comes to mind is being free from sexual immorality or other lifestyle sins. Certainly, it would include those things. But could it be something much deeper than that?
J.I. Packer and Carolyn Nystrom in their book Praying say this about purity of heart:
Purity of heart is indeed a matter of willing one thing, namely to live every day of one’s life loving God.
A few lines down they say:
And it is a matter of making knowing and loving and pleasing and praising God my life task, and of seeking to lead others into the same God-glorifying life pattern.
These are great definitions of purity of heart. And the second phrase, “grace on his lips,” would seem to imply that the words this person speaks are filled with God’s grace.
Uncommon Friends
So, what does an uncommon friend look like?
Uncommon friends, those who have purity of heart and want to please and honor God in all they do, won’t gossip, act rudely or speak in a crude way. They want God to be glorified in the things they spend time doing, the places they go, and the things they talk about.
They’ll encourage each other to grow in Christ-likeness and lovingly hold one another accountable. Proverbs 27. 6 says:
Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
Someone who is “pure in heart” wants the best for his or her friend. Sometimes that means “speaking the truth in love” (Eph. 4.15). But being “pure in heart” also means being willing to sacrifice for our friends. Sometimes real friendship is inconvenient, but when you love someone, it’s not a burden.
Uncommon Friends & Our Other Priorities
Of course, friendship doesn’t trump our other priorities. Spending time with friends can’t become more important than developing a one-flesh relationship in marriage or our responsibilities to our spouses, our children, or others.
And, if we’re married, other than couples who are mutual friends, we shouldn’t cultivate close friends of the opposite sex. It’s not honoring to our spouses and after years of counseling, I can tell you it almost always leads to problems of one kind or another.
Do You Have Uncommon Friends & Are You One?
So, what is the quality of your friendships? Is the focus on what the other person can do for you? Or are you focused on loving God, loving others, and being a godly friend? Do you have “purity of heart” and “grace on your lips”?
What is the quality of your words to and about your friends? Are they full of God’s grace and mercy? Or are they laced with sarcasm or harshness? Do you speak well of your friends or do you gossip and criticize?
Do you cultivate relationships with friends who will challenge you to grow in your relationship with God?
Rare Blessings
Common friends are … well … common. They are ordinary and unexceptional. They are the norm. But uncommon friends … are rare blessings from God! They are exceptional and anything but ordinary! May we be those kinds of friends and cultivate relationships with others who are, as well.
Today’s Other Readings:
Romans 5:
Saved by Grace & Kept by Grace
In the previous chapters of Romans, Paul explained salvation by grace—how God saves sinners through the finished work of Christ on the cross, the gospel.
Here in chapter 5, Paul explains how we are not just saved by grace but kept by the same grace. Jude 24 says God alone is the one who is able to present us, “faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy.” No amount of good works could save us and no amount of good works can keep us saved!
Preach the Gospel to Yourself
But let’s take a closer look at the first five verses:
1 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 4 and perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
You may have heard the expression, “Preach the gospel to yourself.” Have you thought about what that means? We typically think of the gospel as a one-time thing, something we accept once and then move on to Christian living. But we need the gospel every day. A true understanding of all that the gospel encompasses makes living the Christian life a joy. It’s what sustains us in trials and encourages us when we fail.
We need to remind ourselves that God loved us even while we were still sinners (Rom. 5.8). Christ died for us knowing full well every sin we would ever commit and every time we would reject Him. If we understand that He loved us then, we will better trust that He won’t reject us when we fail as believers.
Understanding that He died for every sin whether committed before and after we come to know Him, rather than giving us a license to sin, should cause us to love Him more and give us the desire to please Him.
So, let’s preach the gospel to ourselves on a regular basis.
Esther 7 & 8:
Fear of God
In the first part of the book of Esther, she was chosen to be the Queen over hundreds of other young girls. As the story unfolds we begin to see God’s purpose in it all.
In chapter 3, a wicked man named Haman hatched a plot designed to destroy all the Jews living in the kingdom. When Esther’s cousin Mordecai learned of the plot, he sent word to Esther imploring her to intervene.
Doing so was a dangerous assignment, but Mordecai’s exhortation to her included this statement in chapter 4, “… who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” (v. 14).
Through her intervention, Haman’s plot was revealed, he was killed, God’s people were saved from annihilation, and Mordecai was given a position of authority under the King.
The last sentence of these two chapters sums up God’s purpose in all that He does. It says:
Then many of the people of the land became Jews, because fear of the Jews fell upon them.
The MacArthur Daily Bible notes remind us that it wasn’t that the people in Esther’s day turned to God because they feared the Jews, but they saw that the Sovereign God they served had power and authority and their false gods did not.
Perhaps we should ask ourselves: What do people in the world understand about God by observing my life? Do others want to have a relationship with Him because of the difference they see in me?
Psalm 90.7-17:
A Heart of Wisdom
Even though the Psalmist recognized the sorrows of life apart from God in verses 7-11, he soon turned to the blessings of a life spent dependent on and trusting in Him. Because of the contrast, he said:
So teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom (v. 12).
He recognized the importance of seeking God’s wisdom so that we can be good stewards of our time and our troubles, learn God’s ways, and become more like Christ in the process.
Coming Up:
In the coming days, we’ll talk about why we should bother living right, running to God when we want to run away, the basis for biblical hope, and eternal security.
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Blessings as you grow in Christ,
Donna ♥
Note about this post:
I began blogging through the Bible in 2012 and have done so every year since then. These posts are the product of many edits and additions throughout those years. Some days I make major changes, other days fewer.
A while ago, I read Jen Wilkin’s book None Like Him about the attributes of God. One is His incomprehensibility. In it, she says, “God is incomprehensible. This does not mean that he is unknowable, but that he is unable to be fully known.”
I have found that to be true each year as I’ve gone back through the Bible. Sometimes I find myself feeling as if a passage just appeared there for the first time. I’m reminded that no matter how many times we read through the Bible, we have only scratched the surface. I hope you feel the same.
Indeed these are the mere edges of His ways,
And how small a whisper we hear of Him!
But the thunder of His power who can understand?” (Job 26.14)
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