How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong + LINKUP


Welcome to Mondays @ Soul Survival. Each week I feature a book that I consider a valuable resource.

This week’s selection is How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong by Leslie Vernick.


How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong

If you’re married, you have an imperfect marriage. You have a spouse who sometimes acts wrong and so does he or she.

Marriages are imperfect, because people are imperfect. If we have accepted Christ and begun that redemptive journey, hopefully, we are on the road to becoming more like Him, but none of us has arrived!

It may be that both you and your spouse are seeking to be the husband and wife God wants you to be, but even then we fail at times. It may be that your spouse is sinning in much larger and more damaging ways.

Leslie says:

Sin is in all of us (Romans 3: 23). Attitudes and behaviors that come out of a self-centered, selfish, prideful, deceived, and/ or rebellious heart often express themselves in big, bad ways such as infidelity, lying, addictions, or abuse. The same sinful heart can also produce more benign but chronically irritating behaviors such as nagging and criticism, forgetting important occasions, failing to put dirty laundry in the hamper, not listening well, or staying glued to the television when our spouse is attempting to have a conversation with us. It can be just as difficult and discouraging to believe God and live by faith with a spouse who sins in subtle, less blatant ways as it can when a spouse commits the more grievous wrongs.

Most of us acknowledge that there are no perfect marriages or perfect spouses. We know that having a good marriage requires effort and hard work. At times, however, in the midst of that pain and struggle we can lose sight of what marriage is all about. We forget that we have made a covenant promise to love for better or worse. In the better times, love is usually easy. When worse comes, we often don’t know how to continue to love when we are angry, hurt, scared, or don’t feel very loving. We also aren’t exactly sure what that kind of love is supposed to look like. Do we just forbear? Forgive and forget? How and when do we apply the bolder forms of love?

Sadly, many just give up. The rate of divorce among believers isn’t much different than with couples outside the church, even though most of them know that God wants them to stay and work out their differences.

Others stay but become cold toward their spouses and toward God, believing He has commanded them to stay in an unhappy marriage. Others simply resign themselves and go about living two separate lives in one house. 

Leslie’s book is a great resource for understanding what God is up to in our marriage struggles. She gives great advice for acting right when your spouse acts wrong without making it a list of “rules,” because every marriage and ever situation is different.

Acting right doesn’t always mean merely turning the other cheek. It doesn’t mean ignoring serious patterns of sin like abuse and unfaithfulness. Sometimes acting right means loving confrontation. Sometimes it means going to others who can help. Sometimes it means leaving, even temporarily, for your own safety or that of your children. But it always means responding in ways that are pleasing to God and growing to understand how He is working in you as a result.

In How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong, you will begin to see yourself and your marriage through the lens of God’s eternal purposes. You will learn how God uses the imperfections, differences, and sins of your spouse to help you grow to be more like Christ. This book will help you learn how to love and to keep your promises when it is hard. When you don’t feel like it. When you are not getting much in return. And probably most important, this book will show you why this is good for you to learn.

How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong is a great resource for every married couple and for those who plan to be married. It can help each of us change and grow in the midst of every kind of marital struggle.



Quotations taken from:
Vernick, Leslie. How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong (Indispensable Guides for Godly Living). The Crown Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

You can get a copy of HOW TO ACT RIGHT WHEN YOUR SPOUSE ACTS WRONG or shop for other resources here.  



Christian bloggers linkup

Mondays @ Soul Survival is a place to share your insights about God and His Word, parenting, marriage, homemaking, organization and more. Feel free to link up multiple posts as long as they are family friendly. Remember this is a Christian site.

I hope you’ll take the time to visit someone else and get to know them.

I pin many of your posts on my “Mondays @ Soul Survival” Pinterest boardas time allows. I would love it if you link back in some way and share the linkup on social media.

Sign up for reminders of this LINKUP and Christian Living posts here.

Some of the Previously Featured Books:

Last week’s resource was The Power of Prayer in a Believer’s Life be Charles Spurgeon. Read about it here.

God’s Attributes: Rest for Life’s Struggles by Brad Hambrick. Read about it here.

HELP! I want to Change by Jim Newheiser. Read about it here.

When Life Is Hard by James MacDonald. Read about it here.

Pleasing People: How Not to be an Approval Junkie by Lou Priolo. Read about it here.

If I’m a Christian, Why Am I Depressed?: Finding Meaning and Hope in the Dark Valley One Man’s Journey by Robert B. Somerville. Read about it here.

I sometimes LINKUP with these blogs:

Mondays Making Your Home Sing Musing Mondays Raising Samuels Darling Downs Diaries Mom to Mom Mondays The Life of Faith The Modest Mom The Art of Homemaking Our Home of Many Blessings Desperate Homeschoolers The Beauty in His Grip
Tuesdays Cornerstone Confessions Testimony Tuesdays Tell It to Me Tuesday Purposeful Faith Tuesday Talk Intentional Tuesday
Wednesdays A Wise Woman Builds Her Home A Little R & R Seeking God in All I Do Coffee for Your Heart Messy Marriage Woman to Woman Oh My Heartsie Girls
Thursdays Frog’s Lily Pad Booknificent Thursdays Children Are a Blessing 3-D Lessons for Life Life of Scoop
Fridays Create with Joy Missional Women Coffeeshop Conversations Grace & Truth Faith & Friends
Saturdays Snippets of Inspiration Word of God Speak
Sundays Spiritual Sundays Give Me Grace

This post may contain affiliate links, but I only recommend books and resources that I believe are theologically sound and beneficial to the reader. Thank you for supporting this blog and ministry by supporting my links!

16 thoughts on “How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong + LINKUP

  1. So many good points here. I used to tell my boys, “Just because someone sins, you don’t have to sin back.”
    This applies to grown ups too.
    Thanks, Donna, for these weekly book reviews.

  2. This is one of my favorite marriage books, Donna. So full of practical insight and biblical wisdom. Thanks for sharing and hosting the linkup as well.

  3. This sounds like such a great idea for a book! We truly all do have imperfect marriages. I love reading books that offer Christian encouragement for marriages. Thanks for sharing with #SocialButterflySunday, Donna! Hope to see you link up again this week 🙂

    • Yes, it’s packed full of God’s wisdom. And, I know my husband has had to work through plenty of my wrongs, too!

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