Most Christian parents want their children to behave well. We want them to obey, tell the truth, be respectful, make wise choices, and stay away from things that could harm them.
And we’re right to teach and require many of those things.
But what if, in our desire to raise godly children, we inadvertently teach them the wrong lesson about Christianity?
What if our children learn all the rules, know exactly what will get them in trouble, and even become very good at outward obedience—without ever understanding what is going on in their own hearts?
Worse yet, what if they come to believe that Christianity itself is primarily about keeping a long list of rules?
There is a subtle form of legalism that can creep into even sincere Christian parenting. It happens when our household rules begin to carry the same weight as God’s commands and when changing our children’s behavior becomes more important than helping them see their need for genuine heart change and a Savior.
Could we be raising well-behaved little Pharisees instead of pointing our children to Christ?
And how can we tell the difference between biblical discipline and parental legalism?
We’ll look at that today in Galatians 4. We’ll also discover how we can practice idolatry without bowing before a statue and why Proverbs gives us two seemingly contradictory instructions about how to answer a fool.
Welcome to “God’s Word Day by Day,” where I blog through the Bible in a Year. I hope you’ll join me every day. If you’re not already signed up, you can do it here or subscribe and watch on YouTube.
Today’s Readings:
Isaiah 43 & 44
Psalm 110.1-7
Proverbs 26.5-9
Galatians 4.1-31
Are You Raising Christians—or Just Rule Keepers?
Galatians 4.1-31:
What Parental Legalism Looks Like
I’ve been talking about legalism for several days now. Remember the Judaizers or legalists had come in trying to impose their brand of religion on the Galatians.
As human beings, we love having a set of rules to follow instead of allowing God to make a change in our hearts or the hearts of others.
Lou Priolo, in his book The Heart of Anger, talks about how we do this with our children. He explained that when we make our rules (be in bed at 8.30; you can’t watch that TV show; no dating until you are 16; don’t talk with food in your mouth) on the same par with God’s commands (love God with all your heart; love your neighbor as yourself; do not lie; do not steal, etc.), we run a great risk. It ends up being a form of parental legalism.
But I Thought Children Should Obey Their Parents
It’s not that children shouldn’t obey the rules their parents lay down for them (one of God’s commands is “children obey your parents in the Lord …” Eph. 6.1-3), but we must help our children understand that our particular rules are temporary ones for the household and not God’s law. In comparison, clear commands of Scripture are to be obeyed for a lifetime.
Otherwise, we run the risk of either making little Pharisees of our children or causing them to view Christianity as a legalistic religion instead of a relationship with Christ. Without that personal relationship with God, many of our kids will turn away from the things of God once they’re out of our homes.
Instead, we need to lovingly teach our children to obey us as God’s temporary authority in their lives, while teaching them the truths, freedoms, and principles of a genuine relationship with God. And we must help them see their need for Jesus Christ as Savior because He is the only One who can ultimately change their hearts.
Other Posts on Parenting:
I’ve written more extensively on Christian parenting in other posts. If you’d like to know more, check out these posts.
“Christian Parenting & Discipline in a Secular World”
“One of the Most Important Parenting Principles”
“Parenting & Praying for Our Nation”
“Could You Be Raising Little Hypocrites?”
I’ve also written a series, especially for blended families, but the principles I talk about apply to every family.
Posts in that Series:
Blended Families
Favoritism & Other Four-Letter Word
A Plan for Successful Step-Parenting
How to Start Dealing with Ex’s
Differences Between Households
Loyalty Conflicts & Blended Families in the Bible
Today’s Other Readings:
Isaiah 43 & 44:
Idolatry … It’s Not Just about Carved Images!
In chapter 44.10-17, Isaiah points out the foolishness of idolatry, including ours:
10 Who would form a god or mold an image
That profits him nothing? …12 The blacksmith with the tongs works one in the coals,
Fashions it with hammers,
And works it with the strength of his arms …
13 The craftsman stretches out his rule,
He marks one out with chalk;
He fashions it with a plane,
He marks it out with the compass,
And makes it like the figure of a man,
According to the beauty of a man, that it may remain in the house.
14 He cuts down cedars for himself,
And takes the cypress and the oak;
He secures it for himself among the trees of the forest.
He plants a pine, and the rain nourishes it.15 Then it shall be for a man to burn,
For he will take some of it and warm himself;
Yes, he kindles it and bakes bread;
Indeed he makes a god and worships it;
He makes it a carved image, and falls down to it.
16 He burns half of it in the fire;
With this half he eats meat;
He roasts a roast, and is satisfied.
He even warms himself and says,
“Ah! I am warm,
I have seen the fire.”
17 And the rest of it he makes into a god,
His carved image.
He falls down before it and worships it,
Prays to it and says,
“Deliver me, for you are my god!”
When we think of it in those terms, it’s easy to see the foolishness of it. But worshiping carved and molded images is not the only kind of idolatry.
Not Just Carved Images
In the book of Ezekiel, God rebuked the people for their idolatry. But He pointed out that the idols they worshiped were in their own hearts (Ezek. 14.1-8). The same is often true in our lives.
An idol is anything we want more than we want to please God. Even good things can be idols if they are not in their rightful place in our lives. If I think, for example, “I must have a godly husband or I can’t be happy.” If I’m willing to nag because my husband isn’t interested in the things of God, it’s idolatry. Or if I don’t have a husband and I’m willing to sin to get or keep a boyfriend, it’s idolatry.
If I think “I must have success in my career.” Whether I’m willing to cheat to acquire that success or I become angry at God because I don’t have it, it’s all idolatry.
While it’s not wrong to pray for a godly husband or God’s help to be successful on the job, the problem is in the I-must-have attitude.
The Futility of Idolatry
Not only is our idolatry sinful. It’s also futile. It can’t ultimately satisfy the longings of our hearts. To think that wealth or power or position or popularity is going to make us happy in the long run is foolishness. It leaves many asking, “Is this all there is?”
Wanting a godly husband, obedient children, or other created things more than we desire to please God will only hurt our relationship with Him (Ps. 66.18), leave us dissatisfied (Prov. 27.20), and lead to more sin (Rom. 6.19).
For His Glory
One more verse I’d like to mention is 43.7:
Everyone who is called by My name,
Whom I have created for My glory;
I have formed him, yes, I have made him.
This verse describes our ultimate purpose in life … to bring Him glory!
Psalm 110.1-7:
The Coming Messiah
This is one of the Messianic psalms pointing to the coming of Christ, not only in His first advent as Savior but also in His second coming as King and Priest.
Proverbs 26.5-9:
Answer a Fool as His Folly Deserves
Verse 4 in yesterday’s reading says:
Do not answer a fool according to his folly, lest you also be like him.
Verse 5 in today’s reading says:
Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes.
At first glance, it appears these two verses contradict one another. The NASB translation of verse 5 makes it a little clearer. It says:
Answer a fool as his folly deserves, that he not be wise in his own eyes.
Verse 4 warns us not to be just like the fool in our response to him, adding foolishness to foolishness, arguing to arguing, etc. Verse 5 instructs us to respond biblically to his words and actions instead. That would mean speaking the truth in love, rebuking in a spirit of gentleness, praying instead of arguing, giving a soft answer, not casting our pearls to the swine, or whatever biblical response is appropriate to the situation.
Your Thoughts:
How has God spoken to you today? Could your parenting contain some “parental legalism”? Did you see another passage in a new light? Is there an area where you need to grow and change? Did you find a promise to hold on to?
Coming Up:
In the coming days, we will look at biblical prosperity and the prosperity doctrine, talk about freedom, bondage, and co-dependency, look at what the Bible means by wheat and tares, and talk about the mirror of God’s Word.
I hope you’ll sign up so you don’t miss any of them. You might also like to check out the latest videos on our YouTube channel.
And if this post spoke to you, consider sharing it on your favorite social media platform.
Blessings as you grow in Christ,
Donna ♥
Note about this post:
I began blogging through the Bible in 2012 and have done so every year since then. These posts are the product of many edits and additions throughout those years.
A while ago, I read Jen Wilkin’s book None Like Him about the attributes of God. One is His incomprehensibility. In it, she says, “God is incomprehensible. This does not mean that he is unknowable, but that he is unable to be fully known.”
I have found that to be true each year as I’ve gone back through the Bible. Sometimes I find myself feeling as if a passage just appeared there for the first time. I’m reminded that no matter how many times we read through the Bible, we have only scratched the surface. I hope you feel the same.
Indeed these are the mere edges of His ways,
And how small a whisper we hear of Him!
But the thunder of His power who can understand?” (Job 26.14)
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