Words matter.

So do attitudes.

A gentle answer can calm a tense situation.

A few encouraging words can strengthen someone who is struggling.

But criticism, nagging, cutting remarks, or a harsh tone can slowly damage a relationship.

And sometimes we communicate plenty without saying anything at all.

A look.

A sigh.

A cold shoulder.

An attitude that says, “You are the problem.”

Most of us know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of those things.

But what about when they come from us?

Why do we say things we later regret?

Why can we be patient with people outside our homes but impatient with those closest to us?

Why can praise and gratitude so quickly turn into complaining, anger, or bitterness when life becomes difficult?

Jesus said the real problem goes deeper than our mouths.

What comes out of us begins in the heart.

So if we recognize that our words, attitudes, or responses need to change, simply trying to “be nicer” probably will not be enough.

We need to ask:

What has been going on in my heart?

What have I been thinking about?

What wrong desires, disappointments, hurts, or expectations have I been feeding?

And what does God say needs to be put off—and put on in its place?

Today we’ll look at the power of our words and attitudes, why our hearts must change if our responses are going to change, and some practical biblical steps for beginning that process.

We’ll also see why our attitudes toward God matter when life becomes difficult and how faithfulness in trials reveals what we truly believe about Him.

Welcome to “God’s Word Day by Day,” where I blog through the Bible in a Year. I hope you’ll join me every day. If you’re not already signed up, you can do it here or subscribe and watch on YouTube.

Today’s Readings:

Jeremiah 23 & 24
Psalm 119.17-24
Proverbs 27.15-16
2 Thessalonians 1.1-12

What Do Your Words Reveal About Your Heart?

Proverbs 27.15-16:

It Starts with the Heart

Our Proverbs reading today has this to say:

A continual dripping … and a contentious woman are alike …

Ladies, we need to understand what God is saying here about the power of our words and attitudes.

None of us lives in a perfect world. We have spouses and children, bosses and co-workers, family, friends, and neighbors who are all imperfect. But we can choose how we respond to them and their imperfections, even their sin.

Will we be the women Peter encouraged us to be?

¹ In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over ² by observing your pure and reverent lives. ³ Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. ⁴ You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. (1 Pet. 3.1-4 NLT).

While this was specifically addressed to us in relation to our marriages, the principle applies to our other relationships, as well. Will we choose to live the kind of lives that win others even without words (v. 1)? And when we do speak, will people be impacted by the purity and reverence of our lives (v. 2), or will they see a harsh, prideful heart?

Proverbs on Our Words

Proverbs has a lot to say about the power of our words:

A gentle answer deflects anger,
    but harsh words make tempers flare.
The tongue of the wise makes knowledge appealing,
    but the mouth of a fool belches out foolishness. (Prov. 15.1-2 NLT).

Those who control their tongue will have a long life;
    opening your mouth can ruin everything (Prov. 13.3 NLT).

Some people make cutting remarks,
    but the words of the wise bring healing (12.18 NLT).

He who has knowledge spares his words,
And a man of understanding is of a calm spirit (Prov. 17.27 NKJV).

Kind words are like honey—
    sweet to the soul and healthy for the body (Prov. 16.24 NLT).

The tongue can bring death or life;
    those who love to talk will reap the consequences (Prov. 18.21 NLT).

And Our Attitudes

And what about our attitudes? As Peter reminded us in the passage we just read (1 Pet. 3.1), we communicate even when we’re not speaking.

Mockers are proud and haughty;
    they act with boundless arrogance (Prov. 21.24 NLT).

Pride goes before destruction,
And a haughty spirit before a fall (Prov. 16.18).

Ladies, how do we want our husbands and others to see us? We have a choice. But if we want to reflect a godly attitude, if we want kind words to fill our mouths, we’ve got to start with our hearts. Jesus said:

It is what comes from inside that defiles you. For from within, out of a person’s heart, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, wickedness, deceit, lustful desires, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness (Mk. 7.20-22).

What are you putting into your heart? God’s truth or worldly ideas?

On what do you meditate? On slights and hurts, things you wish you had, on other people’s faults? Or do you cultivate gratitude, contentment, forgiveness, and grace?

We have a choice.

Make the Change

If you have been meditating on the wrong things, holding grudges, choosing to be critical, justifying anger and bitterness, or something else displeasing to God, go to Him and ask for His forgiveness and help.

Study Scriptures like these or others that speak to your area of struggle:

Philippians 2.3-4, 4.6-8

1 Corinthians 13.4-7

Ephesians 4.14-32, 5.21-33, 6.1-4

Make a list of the thoughts, words, attitudes, and actions you need to put off (Eph. 4.22) and the things you know God would have you put on in their place (Eph. 4.24).

Begin to work at those things, praying for God’s help as you do, and confessing and repenting when you fail.

If you’d like to read more about making a plan to change, you might want to check out the following post:

“What If Your Parachute Fails?”

Today’s Other Readings:

Jeremiah 23 & 24:

The Father’s Plan

And speaking of plans, as we read chapter 23, verses 5 and 6, it should remind us of Genesis 3, where right in the middle of pronouncing the curse that would come on Adam and Eve as a result of their sin, God said this to the serpent:

And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your seed and her Seed; He shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise His heel (Gen. 3.15).

Right there in the garden, God gave them, and us, a glimpse of His plan to restore His creation to right standing with Him.

The Days Are Coming

And here in Jeremiah 23, as He is pronouncing the consequences of Judah’s repeated disobedience, He promises to bring them back:

5 ‘Behold, the days are coming,’ says the LORD,

‘That I will raise to David a Branch of righteousness;
A King shall reign and prosper,
And execute judgment and righteousness in the earth.
6 In His days Judah will be saved,
And Israel will dwell safely;
Now this is His name by which He will be called:

THE LORD OUR RIGHTEOUSNESS.’

Another reminder of the coming of the promised Messiah—what a good and awesome God we serve! “While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom. 5.8), and that was the Father’s plan from the beginning.

And More Hope

Another passage that is full of hope is 24.4-7:

4 Again the word of the LORD came to me, saying, 5 ‘Thus says the LORD, the God of Israel. “Like these good figs, so will I acknowledge those who are carried away captive from Judah, whom I have sent out of this place for their own good, into the land of the Chaldeans. 6 For I will set My eyes on them for good, and I will bring them back to this land; I will build them and not pull them down, and I will plant them and not pluck them up. 7 Then I will give them a heart to know Me, that I am the LORD; and they shall be My people, and I will be their God, for they shall return to Me with their whole heart.”‘

Look at that passage again. “Thus says the LORD, the God of Israel. ‘Like these good figs, so will I acknowledge those who are carried away captive from Judah, whom I have sent out of this place for their own good …'”

There were those among the people, including Daniel and his friends, who were taken captive to Babylon long before the final captivity and destruction of the city of Jerusalem. Instead of allowing it for their hurt, God allowed it for their protection and good. And He promised to exalt them in due time. Yes, they would be tested and refined, but He would be with them.

We, too, need to remember when we go through difficult and seemingly unfair circumstances that He will use them for our good and His glory.

Psalm 119.17-24:

Open My Eyes

As the psalmist continues to extol the virtues of God’s Word, his prayer is that God would open his eyes so that he might see wondrous things from His law—a great prayer for each of us to pray every time we prepare to open the Scriptures.

2 Thessalonians 1.1-12:

Patience & Faith in Tribulation

And lastly, let’s look at Paul’s words in verse 4 of today’s New Testament reading:

.,.. we ourselves boast of you among the churches of God for your patience and faith in all your persecutions and tribulations that you endure.

Like Daniel and his friends, we have no greater opportunity to show that we are different from the world around us than when we are experiencing trials, tribulations, and suffering. It’s easy, even for an unbeliever, to be happy and pleasant when life is going his or her way. But it’s in the midst of trials that we demonstrate that our trust is not in our circumstances, but in Christ alone!

Your Thoughts:

How has God spoken to you today? Perhaps you saw a passage in a new light or an area where you need to grow and change. Did you find a promise to hold on to? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Coming Up:

In the next few days, we’ll talk about how our thoughts run our lives, unborn babies, the Tribulation, whether our faith is genuine, and more.

Note about this post:

I began blogging through the Bible in 2012 and have done so every year since then. These posts are the product of many edits and additions throughout those years.

A while ago, I read Jen Wilkin’s book None Like Him about the attributes of God. One is His incomprehensibility. In it, she says, “God is incomprehensible. This does not mean that he is unknowable, but that he is unable to be fully known.”

I have found that to be true each year as I’ve gone back through the Bible. Sometimes I find myself feeling as if a passage just appeared there for the first time. I’m reminded that no matter how many times we read through the Bible, we have only scratched the surface. I hope you feel the same.

Indeed these are the mere edges of His ways,
And how small a whisper we hear of Him!
But the thunder of His power who can understand?” (Job 26.14)